Sophianotloren

I want to highlight one story I mentioned in my Dissent piece through a full blog post. Mining companies operate internationally largely as bad actors, seeking maximum exploitation at the lowest cost to achieve the highest profit. When they can bribe officials or ignore local law, that makes it all the better. This is true of American, British, Australian, and especially Canadian mining companies. In nations like El Salvador, Romania, Papua New Guinea, and Mexico, citizens fight back but often unsuccessfully. The lack of good jobs makes that fight all the harder as even the low wages combined with the long-term ecological denigration are still worth it to lots of poor people. But often the damage is just too much for citizens to take. And that’s what is happening in Zambia:

The communities of Hippo Pool, Kakosa, Shimulala and Hellen say the Mushishima stream and the Kafue have become rivers of acid.

Hundreds of villagers who claim copper mining operations in the area have poisoned their water source and destroyed farmland are taking Zambia’s biggest copper mine, Vedanta Resources Plc, to court.

Leaked documents, that the BBC has seen, appear to show that Vedanta Resources – through its Zambian based Konkola Copper Mines (KCM) – have been spilling sulphuric acid and other toxic chemicals into the water sources.

A whistle-blower, who worked for 15 years with KCM, alleges that since Vedanta bought the mine in 2004, corners have been cut to save the costs of running operations.

“I see an environmental catastrophe coming our way,” said the source, who asked not to be named. “The lives of the people will be shattered.

“I decided to speak out because I could no longer be part of the destruction any more because the next generation will not have kind words for us,”

Konkola Copper Mine (KCM) denied in a statement to the BBC that it had failed to maintain critical equipment adequately or that heavy spillages and massive leakages occurred due to degraded equipment and leaking pumps and pipes.

KCM went on to say that it has spent $530m (£350m) to improve the environmental performance of its operations. This includes replacing slurry waste pipelines to the pollution control dam and putting in a new smelter, which it says captures 99.7% of sulphur emissions.

There’s little reason to believe the company here, as the reporter notes. The pollution is everywhere and it is sensual to the eyes, nose, and tongue.

Many years ago — actually about a quarter of a century ago — I had applied for the job of Student Ombudsperson at the University of Chicago. The job of the Ombudsperson was to help students navigate the bureaucracy of the university, and to help them get their concerns heard when the usual channels weren’t working. It was a job where I got to problem-solve and advocate for people, and that appealed to me.

One part of the process for being considered for the job was an interview with a selection committee, which featured members of the faculty, administration and student body, who asked me (and presumably the other candidates) questions and offered hypothetical issues to resolve. It was during one of the hypotheticals, the details of which are not especially important, that I was confronted with a hypothetical student who simply wouldn’t be happy with any outcome. So, like this:

Q: A student comes with “X” problem. How would you resolve it?

A: I would do “Y”, and here’s why [explain why].

Q: Okay, but they’re not happy with that solution. What do you do then?

A: Then I would try “Z,” and here’s why [explain why].

Q: Okay, but they’re still not happy. Now what?

A: Well, then let’s try “Q,” because [explain why].

Q: They’re still not happy.

A: Fine, I would try “K,” because [explain why].

“Okay,” my interviewer then said, “But they’re still not happy with your solution or your efforts. What do you do then?”

“I give them a quarter to call someone who cares,” I said. “Because at that point it’s clear they’re more interested in being upset than anything else, and I have other work to do.”

Yes, I actually did say that (or something very close to it; it was 25 years ago and I didn’t record it).

And yes, I got the job.

Here’s the thing: I believe that we owe our fellow human beings a certain amount of compassion and courtesy and respect, and to listen to their complaints and grievances. We should ask ourselves whether those complaints and grievances are valid, and whether we can help — and in some cases, ask whether we are the author of those grievances, and if so what we can do to resolve them.

But I also believe that after a certain point, it may become obvious that some people just want to complain, or to be angry, or to be an asshole, or whatever, and that nothing a reasonable person can do will ever make those people happy or satisfied. So you give them a quarter, metaphorically or otherwise, and tell them to call someone who cares. Because you have other things to do. And then you go on doing those things you need to do.

They won’t be happy, but then they were never going to be happy, and it’s not your responsibility to fix their problem — “their problem” not being whatever specific complaint or grievance they might have, but a worldview that requires them to always have a complaint or grievance, and/or to believe that the root of that complaint is somehow about you. That’s something for therapy, perhaps, not for you, or anyone else who isn’t getting paid by the session.

You should be a kind and compassionate person to others when they have a problem or grievance. You should also know when it’s a problem you can’t solve, and also, when the person doesn’t actually want the problem to be solved. It’s neither kind nor compassionate to them or to you to keep being involved after that point. And to be sure, after you’ve given them their quarter, they will likely complain that you are a terrible person, and/or part of a conspiracy to keep them down, and so on and so forth. That’s their karma, not yours.

I was and am pretty proud of my time as Student Ombudsperson at the University of Chicago. I ended up helping a good number of people, and making sure that the students could get their voices heard. But I never forgot that part of the reason I got the job is because they knew I knew where to draw a line. It was a useful skill in that job. It continues to be useful to me today.

Last week, New Zealand banned the novel Into the River, the country’s first ban in over twenty years. The country’s Film and Literature Board of Review banned the sale and distribution of the award winning book. Now, Don Mathieson, president of the agency, has spoken out to defend the decision, claiming the ban was in the ‘public interest.’

Related Posts:

• New Zealand Just Banned a Book: A Rumpus Roundup
• The Most Banned Books
• We Shall Not Ban Comics in English Class!
• This Filthy Stuff
• Secret Locker Library Distributes Banned Books

When the USA FREEDOM Act passed on June 2, we criticized it as weak-tea reform that codified rather than changing … Read More →

It only took a day after Sunday’s opening for a candy bar wrapper to lodge beneath the new wooden bench of the 34th Street-Hudson Yards platform, and vague stains to appear on the station’s light granite floor tiles. Still, the dominant feeling of New York City’s first new subway station since 1989 is that of newness, and the fulfillment of an eight-year wait and $2.4 billion in funding. Soon it will be just another purple-colored point on the MTA map, now curving the 7 line 1.5 miles beyond Times Square. For a brief time, it’s all gleaming steel and fresh fluorescent lights.

The MTA anticipates the new station at 34th Street and 11th Avenue will eventually be the “busiest single station in New York City.” This is in part due to the huge luxury development rising at the end of the High Line, overlooking the Hudson River. It’s definitely an area of the city that was cut off from the subway, but the scrapped second station at 41st Street and Tenth Avenue once part of the project would arguably have supported a more underserved neighborhood.

Cranes tower by the glass station entrance designed by Toshiko Mori Architects as a sort of utilitarian take on Hector Guimard’s Art Nouveau Paris Metro entrance, with the Hudson Park & Boulevard landscaping of benches and plants winding alongside. Below, burrowed 125 feet into the Manhattan earth to dodge existing underground infrastructure like Amtrak, the Eigth Avenue line, and the Lincoln Tunnel, is the multi-level, climate-controlled station designed by Dattner Architects. Two levels of escalators (the longest in the city), and an Italian-designed inclined elevator, enable the descent into the column-free arched concourse and platform, which evoke the DC Metro although, alas, without the brutalism.

Like the Fulton Center complex opened last year with its gaping white oculus, the 34th Street-Hudson Yards favors a sterile futuristic aesthetic with long illuminated tunnels that would have been ready settings for Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey. The white and metal palette is enlivened by two huge mosaics designed by Xenobia Bailey called “Funktional Vibrations,” both commissioned by MTA Arts & Design. It’s unfortunate some of their vibrant tiles weren’t allowed to creep onto the sleek concourse and platform, although the two pieces are stunning above the first bank of escalators and the information booth and ticket machines. True, they might not have much to do with the area’s former industrial history and waterfront setting, but she is an established figure in the New York art world and it’s exciting to see her intricate crochet work inspired by African-American patterns transformed into this huge, colorful mosaic mural built by Miotto Mosaic Art Studio.

The work with its overlaid circular patterns against blue feels as futuristic as the station itself, but with a warmth that’s missing in the greater architecture. Each of the city’s 496 stations is after all a portal for people’s lives and homes, and after the newness fades and the first dark gum globs stick forever to the tiles, they become daily personal spaces for the city. Whether this will be the city’s major hub in a few years remains to be seen, although what it seems to be inviting in more than anything is the passive modernism of the Hudson Yards construction around it.

The 34th Street–Hudson Yards is now open at 34th Street and 11th Avenue in Manhattan.

...Ms. Parker, you might remember, achieved brief fame outside the wingnut Thunderdome a few years ago when, after an entire career spent lobbing red meat to violently insane bitey-bitey Conservative zombies, was suddenly and hilariously shocked!shocked! to discover after a less-than-supporting column about Sarah Palin that her readers were not just violently insane bitey-bitey Conservative zombies, but  violently insane bitey-bitey Conservative zombies who super-duper luuurved them some Sarah Palin:

Allow me to introduce myself. I am a traitor and an idiot. Also, my mother should have aborted me and left me in a dumpster, but since she didn’t, I should "off" myself.
...

After 20 years of column writing, I’m familiar with angry mail. But the past few days have produced responses of a different order. Not just angry, but vicious and threatening

Happily, Ms. Parker recovered from her brief collision with reality and has managed by dint of sheer, batshit talking point repetition to slither back into the good graces of violently insane bitey-bitey Conservative zombie crowd with verbal junk food...

Kathleen Parker: Cretins and squirrel heads

...

Why would any candidate align himself with the sort of ignorance that prompts someone to carry a sign comparing the U.S. Supreme Court to the Islamic State? Because stupid sells, apparently. But party members and candidates who understand the distinctions in this and other instances have a duty to challenge erroneous representations when they are made, not with bland dispassion but with outrage equal to the offense. Otherwise, they are complicit in the eventual demise of rational conservatism.

Hovertext: The only down-side was the F.

New comic!
Today's News:

 Only 70 BAHFest East tickets remain!

leplastiquedick:

missinglinc:

leplastiquedick:

why do people in the apple store always flirt with you and ask you a million questions? i just popped in to buy an adapter :/

Because they like power bottoms, obvi.

i’m gonna ram that adapter in your ass.

I hope you don’t mind.

I like it when you talk nasty techie to me

😂😂😂😂😂

mostlysignssomeportents:

8 years ago, Universal Music sent a takedown notice over Stephanie Lenz’s 29-second Youtube video of her kids dancing in the kitchen to Prince’s “Let’s Go Crazy.”

EFF took on Lenz’s case, arguing that Universal knew that 29 seconds of incidental background music was fair use and was abusing the DMCA through its censorship notice.

The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled in Lenz’s and EFF’s favor today, ruling that rightsholders must consider fair use before issuing takedowns. The court found that people whose creations were censored through DMCA abuse could sue the companies that filed the censorship demands, even if they couldn’t show monetary damages from the censorship.

Next up: another trial where we find out if Universal has to pay damages for knowingly abusing the DMCA.

Read the rest

This is an epic victory for common sense.

In recent years, mainstream media coverage of polyamory (a popular approach to consensual nonmonogamy) has been increasing. But usually, it focuses on the forms of polyamory that resemble conventional monogamy in significant ways:

• Family-style polyamory, where more than two adults with overlapping intimate relationships also live with (or at least very near) each other and function as a family unit.
• Couple+ polyamory, where an established (and usually formerly monogamous) couple “opens up” to allow other relationships, but their primary relationship is assumed to be the top priority — and other partners and relationships are presumed to defer to this.

But then yesterday, Philly.com (the website of the Philadelphia Inquirer and Daily News),  published this column by Dr. Timaree Schmit: Living a trusting, multi-partner relationship in the City of Brotherly Love.

This column is not all about couples: the main sources interviewed definitely have a network approach to polyamory, not family-style or couple+.

It’s a refreshing look at the diversity that can exist in polyamory, the different types of relationships which may overlap in a poly network. In my forthcoming book about unconventional relationships, Off the Relationship Escalator, I’ll explain how overlapping, fluid networks of relationships tends to be how polyamory usually works out in the real world. Sure, more structured family-style and couple+ polyamory do happen, but I agree with Schit — they’re not nearly as prevalent as they once were.

It’s worth a read. Just remember: It’s a mainstream U.S. news site, so don’t bother reading the comments, which are predictably intolerant and scathing.

Dr. Timaree Schmit holds a doctorate in Human Sexuality Education from Widener University, and is a regular columnist on Philly.com. She also hosts the weekly Sex with Timaree podcast (available via iTunes and RSS)

Over 1500 people responded to my survey on unconventional relationships. They had a lot to say, and I’m sure you don’t want to wait for my book to start hearing some of it!  As I finish editing and publishing the first book from this project, I’d like to start publishing on this blog a few times a week, quotes that are especially interesting and meaningful.

I’d like your help. What topics would you like to hear about? Please help me select some key voices and topics from my extensive library of quotes.

It took me about two years to read through these responses to spot themes and common threads — and so far, I’ve only parsed completely through the first 1000 responses. (I promise, I’ll go through the rest after I get the first book in my series out. 1000 was enough to start!)

The main point of the survey was to explore issues and hear people’s stories. So I’ve compiled an immense library of quotes that I’d like to use in my series of books — the stuff people said that I think is important to share. In all, I identified 57 major themes in the first 1000 survey responses. Below is a detailed list of themes and sub-themes.

What strikes your fancy? Please comment below or e-mail me to tell me which themes or sub-themes you’d like to hear more about, and I’ll make presenting those quotes a high priority for future blog posts.

Note that this list of topics was created initially for my own reference only. I think it’ll probably make sense to others — but if you’re puzzled by something here, just ask.

Thanks!

1. Asexual relationships:

• Asexual identity or experience
• Asexual longer stories
• Asexual relationship examples
• Aromantic relationships
• Ideals asexual
• Observations asexual
• Blended relationships: asexual/sexual

2. Assumptions & stereotypes:

• norms assumptions general
• problems with assumptions in a relationship
• stereotypes about swingers
• assumptions/norms in poly community
• assumptions in Escalator relationships
• assumptions asexuality
• sexism assumptions
• stereotypes poly/nonmonogamy
• from stereotypes

3. Authenticity:

• authenticity general
• norms & authenticity
• ethics values authenticity
• better relationships authenticity
• choice vs obligation
• expression and authenticity

4. Autonomy:

• autonomy observations
• autonomy <-> freedom connection
• better relationships autonomy
• self esteem/empowerment autonomy
• logistics autonomy
• downside of autonomy
• ideals autonomy

5. Benefits of unconvenional relationships:

• emotional benefits
• benefits opportunities
• logistical benefits
• hard but worth it
• new experiences
• variety

6. Breakups and de-escalation:

• examples de-escalation
• observations de-escalation
• retaining connection through de-escalation
• de-escalating from marriage/living together
• conjugal -> companionate life partners
• planning, negotiation for de/re-escalation
• benefits de-escalation
• problems/bad experiences de-escalation
• stigma & de-escalation;
• breakups & transitions

7. Challenges in unconventional relationships:

• social awkwardness

▾ same challenges as in conventional relationships

• bad breakups
• observations
• jealousy
• relationship maintenance
• mismatched assumptions, expectations, needs
• perfectionism
• risk
• logistics/rights
• being single/unpartnered
• skills
• partners unavailable when you want/need
• partners different from how they seemed or what they claimed

▾ unique challenges for unconventional relationships

• challenges between partners
• observations
• courtship differences/challenges
• metamour challenges
• drama
• challenges relating to outside world
• ripeoplee effects, negative
• conflicting feelings between relationships
• no challenges/problems
• geographical challenges

8. Cheating:

• cheating examples
• ethics and cheating
• former cheaters
• poly/open views on cheating, cheaters
• involved with/approached by a cheater

9. Commitment:

• Escalator = commitment
• observations about commitment
• benefits of commitment
• downsides of commitment
• examples unconventional commitment
• evolving commitment
• benefits of less/no commitment
• downsides of less/no commitment

10. Communication:

• benefits of communication
• failed/avoided communication
• skills communication
• risks & problems of communication
• communicating with others about unconventional relationships
• helping others via communication
• communication is overrated

▾ communication is more work

• more work good
• more work bad

11. Compersion:

• feelings of compersion
• compersion other benefits
• compersion not easy/natural
• obstacles to compersion
• observations compersion

12. Connection, bonding and intimacy:

• feeling connected
• unconventional = better/more connection
• unconventional = less/worse connection
• maintaining connection
• challenges/obstacles to connection
• connection observations
• sex and bonding
• stigma = disconnection from others
• connect but don’t suffocate
• fear/aversion of intimacy
• valuing commitment over individualism

13. Couple privilege:

• bad experiences with couple privilege
• Couple privilege lack of recognition
• Couple privilege killed my relationship
• view from inside couple privilege
• observations couple privilege
• prefer/ok with couple privilege
• internalized couple privilege
• beyond couple+ nonmonogamy
• couple-centric society

14. Differences:

• benefits of differences
• OK w/ asymmetric rship rules/prefs/status
• missing pieces
• accommodating change
• not-quite-perfect differences
• incompatibilities
• skills managing differences
• differences observations

▾ happy complements, compromises

• off-esc makes rships possible
• examples workable differences

15. Disclosure:

• handling disclosure
• don’t ask don’t tell & disclosure
• discomfort & disclosure
• privacy settings
• ethics disclosure
• cheating & disclosure
• don’t ask don’t tell from 2 sides

16. Escalator broken:

• social norms problematic
• bad experiences/feelings on Escalator
• Escalator killed my relationship
• currently monogamous and having problems w/ Escalator
• Escalator hangover
• observations

17. Escalator-ish relationships:

• monogamous but no marriage
• leaving Escalator options open
• poly/open Escalatorish examples
• Escalator-ish ideals
• Escalator-ish language, mentality examples
• doubt/ambivalence from the Escalator

18. Ethics & values:

• experiences with ethcial quandaries problems
• consent, abuse
• honesty
• questions about ethics
• personal ethics & values
• observations
• closet & ethics
• controlling/hindering others

19. Family-style poly/open relationship networks:

• examples: immediate family 2+ adults
• poly extended family
• observations family
• ideals family

20. Finding partners:

• partner selection skills
• experiences finding partners
• problems finding partners
• disclosing unconventional status, preference
• problems w/ Escalator expectations of others
• small dating pool
• swingers finding partners
• online dating
• observations finding partners
• what helps (or would help) finding partners

21. Freedom:

• freedom to connect with others
• tradeoffs w/ freedom
• freedom = better relationships
• problems w/ freedom
• exploring variety
• benefits of freedom
• norms/pressure freedom
• freedom v. stress/fear

22. Friendlier world:

• acceptance, nonjudgment, compassion, positivity
• acceptance works both ways
• activism
• change already happening/inevitable
• child custody
• conversations
• diversity
• education, socialization
• economics, class
• employment safety
• housing options
• kink & friendlier world;
• law politics government
• marriage needs to change
• media
• mundane details
• norms that need to change
• polarization is bad
• sex norms that need to change
• normalize it
• outness helps
• pessimism, not there yet
• places to meet, gather, talk
• religion problems
• research
• role models
• social media
• subculture problems
• unfriendly world OK
• What I (can) do

23. Friend-lover gray area & relationship anarchy:

• friend/lover gray area
• devaluation of nonsexual/non-family relationships
• value of friendships
• post-intimacy friendship
• emotionally intimate friendships
• fluid friend<->lover relationships
• sexual friendships / FWB
• observations friendship
• relationship anarchy

24. Hierarchy:

• nonhierarchical people chafing at hierarchy assumptions
• prefer hierarchy
• experiences of primary status
• really wants a primary partner
• secondary/nonprimary view on hierarchy
• predefined roles for new partners
• mixed/overlapping ranks
• nonhierarchical open/poly marriage
• dislike/avoid/uncomfortable w/ hierarchy

25. Ideals & dreams for relationships:

• conceptual or emotional ideals
• logistical ideals
• unknown, uncertain, flexible ideals
• specific structure ideals
• living arrangements ideals
• living the dream
• mono would prefer open
• no relationships = ideal
• obstacles to dream
• closeted ideals

26. Jealousy:

• experience of jealousy
• shame about feeling jealous
• jealousy kills relationships
• non-fatal but serious problems w/ jealousy
• pros and cons of jealousy
• addressing jealousy
• observations jealousy
• no problems jealousy

27. Kink:

• observations re kink
• differences & kink
• kink-specific issues
• roles: kink v. relationship
• examples & experiences kink;
• ideals kink
• not into kink

28. Knowing relationship options:

• clueing people in about options
• pressures that discourage knowing/exploring options
• quotes problems because people don’t know options
• normalizing options
• resources should reflect more diversity of options
• what people should know about options
• media and options
• option research needed
• visibility creates awareness
• how I discovered options
• difference it makes to know options
• before I knew about options

29. Labels, language & definitions:

• how people define/choose labels
• monogamous swingers
• avoided, fuzzy, malleable labels
• implied assumptions in language
• inadequate langauge
• drawbacks of specific labels
• benefits labels
• observations language/labels
• conflations and contradictions

30. Living arrangements:

• ambivalence/hard choices living arrangements
• living apart
• living with family/friends (not partners)
• flexible/fluid living arrangements
• part-time living arrangements

▾ living w/ partners

• ideal = living w/ partners
• living w/ partners + space for yourselves
• living together benefits
• examples living w/ partners
• issues/problems/fears living w/ partners
• observations living w/ partners

▾ communal living

• ideal communal/neighbor living
• examples communal/neightbor tribe/family

31. Long distance  relationships:

• changes/fluidity & distance
• at least 1 local relationship preferred
• observations LDR
• experiences LDR
• priority, intensity & distance
• what helps LDR
• Escalator assumptions & LDR
• LDR advantages
• LDR drawbacks

31. Longevity:

• great short-term relationships
• stigma/stereotypes & longevity;
• form changes, connection remains
• examples 5+ year unconventional relationships
• goal is not longevity
• prefer/value longevity
• observations longevity
• longevity as a goal

32. Love, intimacy & acceptance:

• love
• intimacy
• belonging, acceptance

33. Marriage:

• quotes observations marriage general
• why I got/would get married
• Why I’m not married
• problems/issues in marriage
• abolish/opposed to legal marriage
• de-privilege legal marriage
• others’ assumptions re marriage
• same sex marriage movement

▾ marriage examples

• examples nonmonogamy & married;
• examples downplaying being married
• examples/views plural marriage / co-spouses
• examples married & unmarried partners in network;

34. Metamours:

• observations metamours
• benefits/good experiences metamours
• metamours ideals
• metamours what helps
• problems metamours

35. Monogamous peoples’ views:

• wants/curious about nonmonogamy
• consciously chose monogamy after considering options
• I’m/we’re monogamous, but…
• monogamous but not “normal”
• wants nonmonogamy, but partner doesn’t
• mono/poly relationships, mono view
• observations by monogamous people
• norms challenged/questioned by monogamous people
• monogamous allies of unconventional relationships
• monogamous people on understanding nonmonogamy

36. Negotiation:

• value/benefits of negotiation
• negotiation strengthens relationship
• skills for negotiation
• missing/fuzzy negotiation
• hassles/work/scary/awkward negotiation
• examples negotiation
• hard limits & absolute requirements
• observations negotiation

37. Never been monogamous:

• examples never monogamous
• teen nonmonogamy
• unhappy/short-lived/occasional monogamy experiences
• reasons never monogamous
• observations never being monogamous

38. Normality, perceived:

• I look normal
• unconventional people ARE normal
• internalized stigma against non-normal-looking people
• why perceived normality matters
• more normal media portrayals needed

39. Outness & closeting:

• is the closet really necessary?
• out = unreasonable
• hiding conventional preferences
• to closet or not?
• being/making it safe to come out

▾ out/semi out people’s views

• experiences outness
• out but then don’t discuss it
• quietly out
• wouldn’t lie if asked directly
• only out to known accepting people
• how people do/would out themselves
• different levels of outness
• outness ignored/invisible
• little/no blowback from outness
• reasons to come out
• family knows
• outness isn’t/shouldn’t be necessary
• outness blowback
• outness observations

▾ views from the closet

• supportive but not out
• fully closeted everywhere
• closet discomfort & costs
• reasons for closeting
• likes the closet
• partner needs/prefers closeting
• not out but wishes more people were
• multiple closets

▾ selective, contextual closeting

• social media closet
• work closet
• military closet
• family closet

40. Parenting:

• wants/might want kids, options for how
• I was raised in nonmonogamy household
• does NOT want kids
• undecided re kids
• examples offesc parenting
• quotes advantages of offesc parenting
• drawbacks, risks, problems w/ offesc parenting
• drawbacks of traditional parenting
• questions, considerations re offesc parenting
• observations parenting
• friendlier world via parenting
• do the kids know?
• non-parent roles with kids

41. Personal growth:

• focus on/discover myself
• more perspectives from more people
• challenging myself
• hanging through the hard parts
• turning points
• opportunities for growth in unconventional
• no/bad personal growth effects from unconventional
• new skills general/emotional
• skills relationship new

42. Queer:

• queer identity observations
• bi/pansexuality
• relationship examples queer
• relationship issues/differences queer

43. Relationship evolution examples:

• personal evolution of relationship approach
• open -> closed/less open (actual, considering or temp)
• stories monogamous -> open
• swingers -> polyamory
• cheating -> consensual nonmonogamy
• evolution over the course of a relationship
• organically formed triads
• observations relationship evolution

44. Resilience & flexibility:

• able to adapt existing relationships
• personal flexibility
• flexibity for future relationships
• flexibility observations
• unconventional = less resilient
• resilience observations
• resilience experiences

45. Rules:

• veto
• time limits
• communication limits
• happy with rules
• other forms of control
• disclosure-only rule
• no rules
• location rules
• off-limits people
• problems w/ rules
• wants fewer/less strict rules
• drivers of rules
• relaxing rules
• (re)negotiating rules
• one penis policy
• asymmetrical rules
• sex/physical limits
• observations rules
• check-in/permission to progress
• no-emotions rule

46. Scarcity vs. abundance mindset

• scarcity mindset
• feeling abundance

47. Security & insecurity:

• observations security, insecurity

▾ insecurity/wibbles

• stigma/norms that promote insecurity
• partners influence insecurity
• feeling left out
• feeling insecure
• feeling inadequate, unworthy
• feeling replaceable

▾ addressing insecurity

• addressing insecurity with limits self censorelationship
• addressing insecurity w/ adapting, resilience

▾ feeling secure

• experience feeling secure
• what promotes security

48. Sex & touch:

• casual sex
• celibacy
• emotion/relationship expectations & sex;
• existing relationship/sex life better
• experiences & exploration sex;
• frequency/quality of sex
• fulfillment sex
• libido
• monogamy & sex;
• nonsexual touch
• observations sex
• options stay open despite existing relationship
• personal sexual limits
• problems sex & nonmonogamy;
• sex positivity
• stability/resilience sex
• variety sex

49. Sexual health:

• experiences sexual health
• pregnancy risk
• STI testing, logistics & communication
• sexual health opinions/observations
• slut shaming & perceived risk
• unbarriered sex agreements & closed relationships
• rules sexual health

50. Spirituality & religion:

• experiences spirituality + relationship
• spirituality observations
• religion is a problem/obstacle
• religion & nonmonogamy

51. Stigma:

• age difference stigma
• blowback/consequences experiences
• concern trolling
• considering options = dangerous
• constructive responses to Stigma/Judgment
• Escalator rejection stigma
• Family Disapproval
• greedy
• internalized stigma & self doubt;
• invalidation
• nonmonogamy = cheating, immoral, unhealthy, inferior
• no stigma experienced
• overlapping stigmas
• pity
• poly/consent worse than other stigmas
• queer stigma
• reactions rooted in stigma
• regional/local stigma
• scrutiny
• sexism
• slut shaming
• solo/single stigma

51. Stress & relief:

▾ relief

• observations relief
• logistical/practical relief
• freedom, authenticity -> relief
• less pressure
• mixed bag stress/relief

▾ stress

• guilt/shame stress
• logistical/practical stress
• relationship complexity/maintenance stress
• fear, anxiety, alienation stress
• self doubt stress
• others’ reactions stress
• closet stress

52. Structures (examples):

• polyfidelity
• casual relationships
• coprimary partners
• don’t ask don’t tell
• friends with benefits
• monogamish
• networks
• no relationships preferred
• open marriage/relationship
• nomadic
• quad
• relationship anarchy
• secondary
• solo polyamory
• triad
• V

53. Subculture clash/collaboration:

• connecting communities
• gay/lesbian/swinger anti-poly bias
• insular local community
• identity blowback
• monogamy bashing
• poly/open community norms/pressures
• swinger community norms/bias

54. Support:

• ambivalent support

▾ more/advantages support

• activities/interests support
• community (poly etc.)
• crisis support
• emotional support more
• family of choice support
• friends/family support
• internal relationship/network support
• logistical/household support
• perspectives more support

▾ lack of support

• advice/consolation lack of support
• concern trolling, judgment, skepticism
• invalidation
• professional support needed
• role models/guidance lack of support
• social isolation

55. Swingers:

• benefits swinging
• examples swingers
• observations swingers
• outness swingers
• rules swinger
• swinger-poly gray area

56.  Time:

• benefits time
• expectations, needs & time;
• scarcity, loneliness & time;
• observations time
• Scheduling difficulty, implications
• what helps time

57. Tribes:

• distributed tribe ideal
• enthusiasm, curiosity for tribe concept
• examples tribe / family of choice
• ideal tribe living together/near
• skeptical about tribes

mymodernmet:

German photographer Julia Christe’s hilarious Freestyle Series captures the motion of various types of dogs as they leap through the air.

Via the OldSchoolCool subreddit.

Via Das Kraftfuttermischwerk.

This month marks the 40th anniversary of Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here. It's a good time to celebrate that moment, when the portals opened and a stream of cosmic creative force spilled into our reality.

Read the rest

Apple's iOS devices have long included apps that you're unlikely to use (do you really need a stock tracker?), and that list only seems to be getting longer. That's potentially a big problem, especially when the company is still shipping 16GB flag...

it’s raining in southern california

and believe me when i tell you this tweet is absolutely necessary.

we are the worst in the rain.

myjetpack:

My book of cartoons ‘You’re All Just Jealous of my Jetpack’ is available now:
US: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1770461043
UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1770461043
Other stockists and info at www.tomgauld.com
(you can also buy prints there).

Mid-’60s psychedelia and all its acid and white witches has been mined pretty intensely in the last decade or so, but Jessie Jones’s solo debut exists almost as if to say that’s no reason to stop. Formerly of Orange County’s Feeding People, which was getting some significant attention before breaking up in 2013, Jones took a couple years off to travel the country and discover a much less garage-dependent take on a ’60s sound. The resulting self-titled solo record is psychedelic bubble pop with a good dose of believing in your own crystal visions, which is to say that it’s fun and catchy and convincingly whimsical.

NPR hailed the album, saying:

Jones’ self-titled album—her first since Feeding People’s 2013 dissolution—suffers no shortage of these infectious psych-pop moments that, no matter how sticky an organ part or bass line gets, remain lithe through Jones’ melt-in-your-mouth voice. For proof, look no further than the album’s opening track and first single, “Sugar Coated.” Led off by folk fingerpicking, the song soon reveals itself to be feast of ’50s piano pop, Wall of Sound vocals, even a touch of jazz percussion. These elements should not all work together in such a tidy package—a feeling replicated all over Jessie Jones—but she brings them together for one of the best (and sweetest-sounding) musical kiss-offs you’ll hear this year.

The Los Angeles Times called one track, “Sugar Coated,” the “brightest, most whimsical kiss-off song one will hear this year,” and Pitchfork concluded the album’s far-ranging instrumental approaches present an intriguing psychological portrait:

Mottled with giddy tambourines and spattering drum fills, the album is a little bipolar in its approach to instrumentation, but it isn’t messy….Jessie Jones is a well-rounded introduction, one that holds little back. When asked about her personal philosophy, Jones is frank. “Love yourself and speak your truth. I believe in individualism, I’m not anything but who I am is only something I live with.” This album’s inconsistencies are deliberate. Without them, she would be presenting a false identity, an incomplete version of herself. With them, we can more fully work toward understanding Jessie Jones, the individual.

LA Record’s interview offers more of this kind of radical honesty from Jones, although the interviewer may have gotten too carried away probing into the fact that Jones believes she’s been abducted by aliens. Whatever abductions took place, she seems to have used the material well, so we’ll leave it at that.

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LOS ANGELES — This week, an exhibition of Chicano art opens, an essayistic documentary from filmmaker Chris Marker screens, a book signing brings together former Interview magazine editor Bob Colacello and photographer Catherine Opie, and more.

Giorgio Morandi + Robert Ryman: Object / Space

When: Opens Saturday, September 19, 4–6pm
Where: Kohn Gallery (1227 North Highland Avenue, Hollywood, Los Angeles)

Giorgio Morandi spent nearly his entire career painting still lifes — specifically, a seemingly endless array of washed-out vases, bowls, and bottles arranged on his studio table. Teetering between representation and abstraction, his paintings are masterful explorations into the subtleties of color, form, and composition. With its upcoming exhibition Object / Space, Kohn Gallery aims to draw connections between Morandi’s single-minded obsessiveness and that of Robert Ryman, who, for 60 years, has created nothing but abstract white paintings. Focusing on texture, scale, and gesture, Ryman has squeezed a remarkable amount of life from his narrow and reductive approach.

Somewhere Over El Arco Iris: Chicano Landscapes 1971—2015

When: Opens Saturday, September 19, 7–10pm
Where: Museum of Latin American Art (MOLAA) (628 Alamitos Ave, Long Beach, California)

Somewhat surprisingly, Long Beach’s Museum of Latin American Art has never held an exhibition focused exclusively on Chicano artists from Southern California. Somewhere Over El Arco Iris is the museum’s first show to present work from this significant movement, featuring over 40 years of landscape painting, photography, and mixed-media works. Artists included range from Patssi Valdez and Gronk of seminal East Los Angeles based collective ASCO, to contemporary street artists Jaime “Germs” Zacarias and Johnny KMDZ Rodriguez.

 Cerebral Vortex

When: Opens Saturday, September 19, 7–9pm
Where: MAMA Gallery (1242 Palmetto Street, Downtown, Los Angeles)

This Saturday, MAMA opens Cerebral Vortex, a multi-sensory, consciousness-expanding group show. Angeline Rivas creates an immersive installation based on her detailed ballpoint ink drawings, while Galen Pehrson’s hand-drawn animation peeks out from a hole in the wall. Double Diamond Sun Body’s video work will inject some absurdity into the mix, while polymath James Franco will be on a pay phone talking about his mind. On opening night, composer Jonathan Bepler, who has collaborated with artist Matthew Barney, will present a reinterpreted scene from Barney’s recent epic film The River of Fundament (on view now at MOCA).

Manuel Scano Larrazàbal: Inexorable Acephalous Magnificence or How the Shit Hits the Fan

When: Opens Saturday, September 19, 7–10pm
Where: Museum as Retail Space (MaRS) (649 S. Anderson St., Boyle Heights, Los Angeles)

For the past century or so, artists have used machines to remove their hand from the creative process. Manuel Scano Larrazàbal’s large-scale drawings fit within this lineage, but the results could hardly be described as mechanical. Constructed from oscillating fans, string, and dangling markers, his drawing contraption creates works that reflect an organic sense of randomness and whimsy. Throughout the run of the exhibition, titled Inexorable Acephalous Magnificence or How the Shit Hits the Fan, his site-specific apparatus will be producing drawings including a 270 square-foot monumental painting.

Bob Colacello & Catherine Opie in Conversation

When: Sunday, September 20, 4–6pm
Where: Art Catalogues at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA) (5905 Wilshire Boulevard, Mid-Wilshire, Los Angeles)

As editor of Andy Warhol’s Interview magazine in the ’70s, Bob Colacello had intimate insight into the life of the famously guarded artist. His recently reprinted 1990 book Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up is considered one of the best insider accounts of Warhol’s life. Photographer Catherine Opie is best known for her direct and candid portraits of American subcultures — from queer communities to high school football players. Her new book 700 Nimes Road captures a different kind of “indirect portrait” of Elizabeth Taylor through images of her home and possessions. This Sunday, Art Catalogues hosts a book signing and conversation between Colacello and Opie on fame, persona, and pop culture.

 A Grin Without a Cat

When: Sunday, September 20, 7:30pm
Where: Veggie Cloud (5210 Monte Vista Street, Highland Park, Los Angeles)

The works of influential French filmmaker Chris Marker range from experimental movies like the 1962 photomontage short La Jetée to essayistic documentaries. An avowed political leftist, Marker’s films often focused on the social upheavals of the time, such as anti-American ¡Cuba Sí! (1961), which featured interviews with Castro. A Grin Without a Cat (1977) is Marker’s attempt to portray the development of global Socialism since 1968, specifically in France and Latin America, contrasting initial hope with the ensuing reality.

One reporter discovers that beating around the bush isn’t always the best way to get an answer.

Researchers have found that black children suffering from appendicitis tend to receive less pain medication than white children. Maggie Fox via NBC News: Black children with acute appendicitis — a clearly painful emergency — are less likely than white children to get painkillers in the emergency room, researchers reported Monday. And nearly as troubling, only about half of any of...

[This is a short summary; please click the story headline to read the full story on our site]

central-wasp-monolith:

The cries of "What about the babeeeez?" get louder and louder as the delusional dogs of the right and their opportunistic fleas demand that no more government tax dollars go to Planned Parenthood. Even as the fake organization that set up a fake sting to get fake videos to fake a scandal release yet another bullshit tape that purports to show skeevy activity, motherfuckin' true believers are takin' it to the motherfuckin' wall. Government shutdown, bitches, rather than give tax money to an organization that spends even a red cent on making baby jerky or whatever it is they're accused of.

In fact, if you don't support defunding Planned Parenthood, you are one of those no-good assholes who "care more about facilitating the harvesting of baby body parts than they do about the lives of those children and the conscience objections of the citizens they serve," says Rep. Kevin McCarthy of California and the Majority Leader in the House. McCarthy, it should be noted, voted several times against expanding the Children's Health Insurance Program so it could cover more kids. So maybe he should just calm the fuck down over who cares about the kiddies.

You know who won't calm the fuck down, even if you use a cattle prod and an elephant tranq gun? Erick "Erick" Erickson of the conservative baby wipe known as RedState. For Erickson, if you believe that aborted fetuses should be used for research in medical science, you're worse than an asshole. Oh, much, much worse: "This is a fight on principle over whether the Republican Party should stand by and let our tax dollars be used to subsidize the American Mengeles of Planned Parenthood or not. This is a fight about whether our tax dollars should be used to subsidize harvesting children’s brains and hearts and lungs and livers." Now, it might seem that American Mengele would be the worst reality competition show ever, but Erickson really believes that fetal tissue research with dead fetuses is the same as torturing live children to death.

Remember: almost all abortions are done before the second trimester. Almost no abortions are done in the third. We're not talking about stone-cold killing a ten year-old here.

But this is where the nutzoid wing of the conservative wing of the Republican Party is declaring, "You shall not pass." And with rational statements like "Children in the United States of America are being cut up and sold for scrap," you can bet that the debate is going to be as dignified as we've come to expect from the GOP.

One GOP "moderate" in Congress is offering a deal to try to head off the shutdown, saying, "Hey, let's just defund those few Planned Parenthoods that actually do provide fetal tissue to researchers." It's a measure of how degraded our politics has become that "moderate Republican" now means, "Wants to keep the government running." And this is putting the leadership in Congress, McConnell and Boehner, on a collision course with the fucking loons, like Ted Cruz, who needs to do something other than be a lamprey on Trump's ass in order to get attention to his presidential campaign.

It's like we're dealing with mad bombers, the kind who you think you can bargain with but who click the switch no matter how reasonable you think you sound.

sashayed:

mainermoose:

technicolourunicorn:

Like… Did Reese Witherspoon literally have a baby with herself?

So we can all agree that Reese Witherspoon has mastered cloning, yeah?

I thought this was a joke and she really used a picture of herself. Lol

SEMI SENSELESS DRAWING MODULES

Installations by Yamaguchi Takahiro and So Kanno explores themes related to imitation and replication through mark making using robotics, computer vision and machine learning.

The first project, Replicate, is a workshop featuring a group of schoolchildren drawing on a wall, whose movements are captured using depth-camera data:

The second project, Letters, uses handwriting written in nearby book, breaking down the penstrokes into individual parts with machine learning, and reconstructs them as markings for the drawing robot to replicate:

SDM2 - Letters, which theme is learning, generates lines looks like letters but doesn’t make sense by machine learning system which learnd shapes and patterns of hand writing strokes with ignoring meaning of them.
On street in some international city, you hear a lot of different kind of language, and it’s possible to distinguish what language it is without understanding its meaning. It means human learns sound before meaning.
This project attempts to make a same phenomenon with artificial intelligence and hand writing letters. Lines generated by system with biased learning and removing meaning from hand writing letters, how does it look?

The installations are currently on view at the 21_21 Design Sight Gallery, Roppongi, Tokyo, which you can find out more here

Tilt-Ikeda

Creative coder Patricio Gonzalez Vivo has been developing many graphical shaders for maps recently, and his latest is a tribute to well-renowned tech artist Ryoji Ikeda.

Try it out for yourself here

This picture says them all.

 

“Vanity Fair” claims that late night is “better than ever.” Yes, clearly.

 

@VanityFair the diversity of all the different suits represented is absolutely remarkable, suits have really come a long way so many fabrics

— Melanie Owens (@melowens) September 14, 2015

Expect to see a broom in suit topped with a Chia Head before I see a woman on Late Night. Then & only then will it be "better than ever"

— bspencer (@vacuumslayer) September 14, 2015