OAKVILLE, ON – Heralding its new offerings as the culmination of nine years of intense laboratory research, Tim Hortons president Axel Schwan proudly announced that the franchise’s new lineup of pizzas are made with 100% Canadian cardboard. “We’re a proudly Canadian institution and we want to showcase the best Canada has to offer,” said Schwan, […]
The post New Tim Hortons pizza made with 100% Canadian cardboard appeared first on The Beaverton.
VANCOUVER – The Canadian Olympic Committee and the Canadian Paralympic Committee have partnered with the Alberta Beef Council to unveil the new athlete kits for the Paris 2024 Summer Olympics made entirely out of 100% Canadian Beef. “We are proud of our sustainable, biodegradable athlete uniforms that are stylish, functional, and ready for grilling,” said […]
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SMBC is the 74-almost funniest webcomic.
If you were a patreon subscriber, you would be seeing my magnum opus at this very moment.
LOS ANGELES—Circulating online via a Google Drive link, an alleged leak of Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department left fans speculating Thursday that the new album would be all about the artist’s sink not draining good because it was clogged by long hair. Swift subverted expectations that she would address her…
LOS ANGELES—Noting that the highly anticipated biopic had always been a dream project, sources confirmed Thursday that Martin Scorsese would direct Leonardo DiCaprio as Frank Sinatra for the rest of their lives. “After working together on six different films, Scorsese is beyond excited to team up with Leo and bring…
WASHINGTON—With worms in the pile of plant debris already starting to eat away at the late president’s flesh, veteran White House gardener Dale Haney told reporters Thursday he had found a rotting Joe Biden in a compost bin on the South Lawn of the executive mansion. “Oh, man, the poor little guy must’ve fallen in…
During an audit, Arkansas lawmakers questioned Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ (R) staff about the purchase of a $19,000 lectern, a charge which include a $2,500 “consulting fee” and a $2,200 road case. What do you think?
This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.
Here are three updates from past letter-writers.
1. Random people use our lactation room for breaks and lunch (#3 at the link)
I really appreciated seeing your response and those of the commenters. It helped me feel validated and affirmed for me that I was not being overly entitled or too demanding in my attempts to resolve the issue. I did eventually take the matter to HR. Starting this week, the room is to be closed and locked by default. The other lactating mother and I were given keys (as was suggested by several commenters). And as for the concern for walking in on each other, the room has a highly sensitive motion sensor light and a window over the door, so it’s pretty easy to tell that if the light is on it’s occupied.
2. My boss says I’m an “unapproachable” manager
Thank you for answering my letter, and thank you to everyone who commented. Your answer and peoples’ descriptions of their own unapproachable managers helped me realize that I was actually pretty approachable! If I was in an office, the door would be open unless I was on the phone. When staff came to me, I would welcome them with a smile and give them my full attention. Sometimes I might say “let me just finish this sentence so I don’t lose my train of thought” and finish typing, but I always smiled and made eye contact while saying that. I’m an active listener, valued my staff’s feedback, and was responsive when others needed action from me.
I sat on your answer and what I read in the comments for a few weeks, trying to objectively assess my behaviour with everything I’d read in mind, then returned to my boss and asked her to elaborate on what she meant by unapproachable. I also asked whether the feedback had come from a direct report or one of my peers. She seemed confused and played it off like she couldn’t remember. By then, it had been several months, but I’m still bewildered by this response, because we had turned it into a bit of an inside joke. At the time of our initial conversation, I had suggested that maybe my struggle with small talk had contributed to that feedback, and joked that my natural reaction to seeing acquaintances in the grocery store is to duck behind a display. We laughed about it and started joking about my social awkwardness regularly. She’d say something like “drive safe, it’s icy out there,” and I’d reply, robotically, “I am uncomfortable with this excessive display of concern for my well-being” and we’d laugh. I wonder if maybe I interpreted an offhand comment as criticism, and built it up in my mind as a much bigger deal than it was.
I’m no longer at that job. The nature of the work meant that my days were very long and the hours were often unpredictable. Now that I have two young children, I just could not reconcile my work obligations with school and daycare drop-offs and pick-ups. I’m in a different line of work and no longer in a management position, and I am very happy. The letter I wrote to you was a catalyst for me realizing that I do not like being a manager. Hiring, firing, performance reviews, PIPs, and tough conversations — I hated all of that, but people management was the only option for upward mobility and increased salary in my woefully low-paying previous field.
Your blog was invaluable to me during my job search. Thank you for running this site, and thank you to your commenters for taking the time to provide feedback of their own. I read every one.
3. My coworker berates me all day long (first update here)
Not long after my first update, I accepted a temporary records management position at a university I’d long been interested in working for. I really enjoyed my coworkers and my time there helped me regain some of my confidence after leaving my prior firm and subsequent layoff. I’d hoped after the temp position ended, I’d be able to move into something full-time either in that same department or elsewhere within the university. Although I did good work and was well-regarded by my managers and the team, in the end there wasn’t an opportunity to move into a full-time position.
After we parted ways, I applied for a handful of positions within the university and had a few interviews, but also kept my eyes peeled elsewhere just in case. Almost on a whim, I applied for a records management position at a local bank, went through a few rounds of interviews, and accepted my current position. While I was sad the university didn’t work out, this new role had generous pay, great benefits, and good work/life balance, and they seemed very happy to bring me in. I have been there a little over a year and am so glad I took it. There are no Helens, I can take PTO and not walk into piles of work that no one who was supposed to cover for me bothered to do, I don’t get snapped at when I need something or ask a question, and when I’m asked to correct something, I’m not berated endlessly over and over. I like my colleagues, the workload keeps me busy but it’s not overwhelming and I can get help when I need it. And I’m pleased to say I haven’t needed a PITA folder in my inbox in quite some time. It’s taken a while but my mental health has improved immensely since I left my old job. I didn’t realize how much Helen and the broader culture there were harming my self-worth and how depressed and anxious I’d become over my time there. I know I was good at my job — otherwise I wouldn’t have lasted as long as I did — but towards the end I really started to think there was something wrong with me for not being able to keep up with endless demands and nonstop workload. It took getting away to realize how bad it was, but I’m happy to report I’m doing much better now. Thanks again to everyone who commented and offered suggestions and encouragement!
This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.
A reader writes:
For the last nine months, I’ve been doing a (paid) internship at a foundation that is aimed at recent graduates looking to enter the nonprofit world. It’s been a great experience, both in the kind of work I am doing and the people I am working with. I’ve also consistently gotten great feedback, to the point where my boss has said multiple times that she’d like me to return to work for them once I have the necessary degree.
However, while looking at our internal phone registry, I recently discovered that my boss originally had meant to hire someone else for the internship. While I wouldn’t rely on this information alone, I also got an accidental glance at an email from last year that referred to the area of study of the future intern. This was a very specific area and matched the person whose name I found in the registry. Not being their first choice would also help explain why their time frame for offering me the position was slightly longer than expected, especially having now witnessed from the inside how quickly my boss likes to settle these things.
Would it be reasonable to ask either my boss or my mentor (who is a separate person on the same team) about this? I know there are many potential reasons why someone else was initially chosen for the position. It could simply be that this person was able to start earlier than I could – my start date was later than they would have preferred. But if, for example, there was something that I could have handled better during my interview, that piece of information could be very valuable in future job searches.
Generally, I feel like I have a really good relationship with both my boss and my mentor. However, they never mentioned any of this to me (I was not rejected during the period of time where they apparently offered the job to someone else), which is why I would feel a bit awkward about bringing it up out of the blue. Would it be reasonable to ask one of them about this? And if it is an appropriate question to ask, how would I best frame it? Or should I just let this go?
I’ve read your previous answer to a similar question, where you said the person could bring this up related to their future interview. However, I feel like my situation is somewhat different, since they don’t know I‘m aware that I wasn’t their first choice and since there is no position with them that I would immediately be applying for, as I need to go back to school first anyway.
Don’t bring it up.
There are tons and tons of reasons why other people might be offered a job before you are, and they don’t generally mean “you sucked in specific way X but we decided to take a chance on you anyway.” They generally mean “we had four people we would have happily hired and only one slot to fill” or “you were great, which is why we ultimately hired you, but someone else was just better” or “you were good but, man, I really clicked with the person we offered it to first” or all sorts of other things that won’t be useful to you.
Asking why you were the second choice can come across as overly in need of reassurance, and as if you don’t really understand how hiring works (which, being an intern, you don’t and that’s completely OK — but it would be slightly off to ask). It also risks putting your boss on the spot. Plus, nine months after the hiring process, there’s a strong chance your boss won’t even remember anything useful about the other candidates or the decision-making process at this point.
They hired you, they’re happy with you, all is well that ends well!
RESTON, VA—Documenting how spiraling loop-de-loops through traffic help workers speed past rush-hour bottlenecks, a study published Thursday in the Journal Of Transportation Engineering found that rocket-powered roller skates were still the fastest way to commute to eccentric inventor jobs. “Even in areas with access…
RACINE, WI—Touting the product as a quick, easy way to take the putrid stench out of expired goods, household brand Glade announced Wednesday that it had released a brand-new meat freshener spray. “With Glade’s new meat freshener spray, say goodbye to animal products with rotting, foul odors, and hello to…
CHAMPAIGN, IL—As she struggled to pull open the café door with an armful of books, friends of local woman Fela Torres reported Wednesday that the drama queen was, as usual, seeking everyone’s attention and obviously hoping the sad display would lead to one of them asking where her other arm went. “Oh Lord, I wonder…
Indonesian authorities closed an airport and residents left homes near an erupting volcano Thursday due to the dangers of spreading ash, falling rocks, and the possibility of a tsunami.
Recent rainfall and flooding in Dubai of all places has set off a firestorm of misleading, incomplete, and even some bizarre theories on social media. How did this actually happen? Turns out it was a pretty straightforward forecast, and no one should be surprised that this was a major event. It just happened to also hit a place that has a lot of people, rarely sees events of this magnitude, and happened to mention that they also seed clouds, which is unlikely to have done much to affect the outcome.
An extremely anomalous weather pattern established over portions of the Persian Gulf and Middle East this week, featuring a rather deep upper-level trough over the area. This type of pattern is what typically brings unsettled, wet weather to mid-latitude locations.
This trough seems to be cut off from the jet stream, a condition that also isn’t necessarily uncommon in many places, and historically it does lead to localized prodigious precipitation totals in spots under the right conditions. So while the placement of this weather system was a little strange, the outcome (scattered heavy rain and flooding) was not.
Model forecasts were all over this. In fact, the forecast from Sunday’s European model (shown above) pegged Dubai for roughly 4 inches of rainfall between Sunday and Thursday, with most of it falling Tuesday. Nearby areas showed bullseyes of 5 to 6 inches of rain over the Strait of Hormuz and into portions of southeastern Iran, as well as in Oman (where over 15 people died from flooding). So this was not a surprise storm by any means. Unusual and historic, certainly, but not a surprise from a modeling standpoint. This is about as well telegraphed as you could hope for.
Various other factors likely helped amplify the rainfall over the UAE, Oman, and Iran. The location of this region in proximity to a number of features that usually align with heavy rainfall, and the presence of precipitable water values (PWAT) that were likely over 200 percent of normal made this basically a straightforward case of an area that would get hammered by heavy rain.
Precipitable water is essentially how much moisture is available for rainfall. If I saw this 2 to 3 days ahead of time over a place many of you will be more familiar with, like Houston, I would expect flood watches and warnings to be imminent.
The bottom line: An anomalous pattern produced an anomalous result, and nothing about it should have been a surprise given the forecast.
If you read the above section, you can see that models were actually printing out 4 to 6 inches of rainfall over this area. Cloud seeding is a process where humans fly an aircraft into a storm and release a small amount of a harmless compound, typically silver iodide. The intent is to seed the storm with a few more nuclei for raindrops or snowflakes to form on within the cloud that will enhance precipitation downwind of the storm. This strategy has been practiced for years, all over the world, and almost always in arid areas where water is a vital and precious commodity. Every little bit helps these areas, so when storms happen, it is common for cloud seeding to occur. Typically, you could see rain totals increase by 5 to 15 percent based on the project. Each one has mixed results, some with more rain, some with little to no increase in rain.
So doing that back of the envelope math, if you assume the UAE generates cloud seeding results on par with historical averages, you would be looking at roughly 0.3 inches to 0.6 inches of additional rainfall. When dealing with 6 inches of rain in an arid location that lacks the ability to handle so much water, that’s primarily background noise, a rounding error mostly. Cloud seeding certainly did not cause the storm, as we saw above. And historical results suggest it would have had minimal impact on the end results as well, other than providing just a little more water for an arid region. It’s like saying that the 538th home run by an unnamed baseball player that allegedly took performance enhancing substances was directly caused by the performance enhancing substance. That ballplayer would almost certainly have hit a deep fly ball or even a home run without the PEDs, but the PEDs just added a little whipped cream on top to nudge it out. The heavy rainfall was the cake, the cloud seeding was the icing. You’re still getting cake, you’re just getting a few more calories.
We’ve seen a lot of heavy precipitation extremes in recent years all over the world, and as much as many folks don’t want to discuss climate change, you absolutely need to in this instance. Here’s a look at Persian Gulf and Gulf of Oman water temperature anomalies.
Given the Arabian Peninsula’s location, if you were to inject 200 percent of normal moisture to this area and got heavy rain, it was almost certainly influenced by the excessively warm Arabian Sea, Persian Gulf, and Gulf of Oman. No matter which direction the wind was coming from, you were probably transporting this warm, moisture-laden air into an already primed atmosphere. The end result was one of the worst rain events for an area in modern times. Our oceans are on fire around the world right now, and heavy precipitation extremes are increasing. The causes are more complex than a social media post or three could cover, but climate change is a significant player in it all. Expect to see more situations like this in the coming months and years.
OTTAWA – The new Liberal budget was officially released yesterday, with the government unveiling a number of plans involving new programs and spending, including $10 bajillion dollars for whatever thing you happen to be into right now. “Today we are unveiling our most ambitious budget yet,” said Finance Minister Chrystia Freeland. “In it, we are […]
The post Liberal budget promises 10 bajillion dollars to whatever thing you’re into appeared first on The Beaverton.
A report from the Global Wind Energy Council found that worldwide, windmills able to produce 117 gigawatts of power were installed in 2023, a 50% increase from the previous year. What do you think?
This exclusive gated community features everything from restaurants to basketball courts, and it even has its own security team!
This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. Hiring manager assaulted a police officer
I’m interviewing for a role that I’m excited about, but caught something odd when googling the hiring manager’s name to find their LinkedIn profile. 15 years ago, when the hiring manager was in college, they were arrested for assault and battery on a police officer while presumably drunk.
I know people, especially college students, do regrettable things sometimes, and from all other indications it seems like this person is a well-respected professional. Still, I’m having trouble getting past this, and given that I’d be reporting directly to this person, should I consider withdrawing my candidacy?
I think it would be a wild overreaction, but you get to decide what bothers you and how bothered you are. If it helps, though, I can think of a lot of situations that could result in that charge that wouldn’t mean anything about the person’s character, particularly 15 years later. (For example, some police officers have been known to charge people with that if they even slightly resist an unfair arrest. Obviously we have zero idea whether anything like that happened here, and it could be on the exact opposite end of that spectrum, but that’s kind of the point — we have zero knowledge about any of it.)
2. Do I need to cancel my vacation because I need surgery?
At all my previous jobs, sick time was separate from vacation time. However, at my current job (where I’ve been for nine months), sick and vacation time are all the same.
I have two vacations planned for this year, which will use most of my time off (20 days).
The problem is that I just discovered I need surgery. Now what do I do? Do I need to cancel one or both of my vacations? Or do I need to attempt to work through my recovery? I can’t take unpaid time off, as this surgery is going to use my entire out-of-pocket maximum. Should needing surgery mean I can’t have any more days off?
Should it? No. Does it? In this situation, probably.
In theory when you’ve got combined sick and vacation time, you need to leave to set some of it aside for sick time. Rather than the company separating out the buckets for you, you’re supposed to do it yourself based on how much you think you’ll need for each. You can’t really look at it as “I get 20 days of vacation” or you won’t have time available for illness or other medical stuff. That doesn’t mean people don’t ever make vacation plans for all their days — they definitely do, especially if they’re people who don’t often get sick — but when you do that you’re gambling that you won’t end up needing any of those days for sick leave. (Of course, this means you won’t really know until the end of the year how many vacation days you’re left with, which is one of several problems with combined PTO.)
3. It’s hard to run meetings when my coworker has the same name I do
I am a manager of a small remote team. We have daily meetings to check in on our work as a team together, and often invite people from other teams to join us for the conversation. Recently, a person from another team, Jayne, has started joining many of our meetings. Jayne is great at her work and everything is going pretty well. She and I share a name, but mine is spelled “Jane.” The spelling difference means that in writing, it’s easy to tell who someone is talking about.
In our meetings, it’s hard for me to tell whether someone is talking about/to me or Jayne, particularly because all of our meetings are on Zoom so other clues like looking at someone aren’t there. It throws me off when someone says something like, “I agree with what Jane said about XYZ” or “Jane, can you tell us what you know about ABC” and it turns out they’re talking to Jayne and not me (or that I assumed they were talking to Jayne, and they’re actually talking to me). It’s not impossible for me to ultimately tell from context that they’re talking about/to Jayne instead of me after a few seconds most of the time, but it is still sometimes really hard to tell, and regardless it tends to really throw me off in meetings I’m leading. On another remote team, there’s a “Jason” and a “Jasen,” and the senior Jason goes by his first name and last initial, like “Jason X.” whenever people call him in or refer to him, and the newer Jasen, goes simply by his first name.
I brought up my own confusion about hearing Jane/Jayne to my team during a meeting when Jayne wasn’t in the room (I didn’t want her to feel awkward and it’s not her problem). I cited the Jason X./Jasen precedent from the other team which seems to work, and offered to go by “Jane X.” in our meetings with Jayne to reduce confusion. Folks on my team seemed open to it, but no one has done it even once in meetings since then, instead just continuing to say “Jane” and not clarifying in comments or anything. I work in a culture and on a team where folks are generally very respectful with their language and how they refer to people, so there’s precedent for people trying to help out someone when they ask for something like this.
It’s confusing and frustrating for me and I’m disheartened that no one on my team seems to make an effort to reduce confusion based on their behavior. It honestly makes it harder for me to run meetings with Jayne and I’m worried my frustration may inappropriately start to bleed through in those meetings. I’m also aware this is not a huge issue in the grand scheme of things, so I don’t want to turn it into something that makes my team uncomfortable if I bring it up again, like “we made the boss mad.”
At the start of every meeting for a while, just say, “A reminder to please say Jane X if you mean me since we have two Janes here.” You might even add, “It’s been causing confusion so for the next few meetings with both of us, I’m going to jump in and ask you to clarify if you forget.” And then if you need to, jump in with, “Which Jane?” (Do that judiciously — only if it’s actually causing confusion.)
You’re going to feel like you’re harping on it a bit — which you will be, but if it’s genuinely causing confusion, then there’s no way around it. Say it warmly, even with some amusement in your voice, and people shouldn’t feel chastised. A few rounds of that might be enough to get it to stick.
4. What to say if a concerned coworker suggests I use the EAP
I suffer from an anxiety disorder that over the last few years has mutated into social anxiety. I used to be my most confident and outgoing at work, but I now am alternately semi-credibly faking it and acting weirdly nervous and awkward for no apparent reason. I want to be better and I am in treatment, but these things take time. I am sure my coworkers have noticed. It has affected my performance on team-based activities. I am not on a PIP or anything, but it is a clear weakness for me.
I know one of the symptoms of social anxiety is believing people are paying way more attention to your awkwardness than they are …but I know for sure I am being noticed. I would not be surprised if someone pulled me aside to have the EAP talk.
If that were to happen, how would you recommend I handle the conversation? I have not disclosed my diagnosis at work because I didn’t want it to distract from the tasks at hand. On the one hand, letting it be known that I have a diagnosed condition and am in treatment might help my confused and concerned coworkers feel less confused and concerned. On the other, it might make me look unstable, cause me to be discounted, or give the impression I expect special treatment. I am also a little worried about a few well-meaning busybodies who have picked up on my mood and have previously tried to “adopt” me. It would be a bad idea for me to explain the events that caused me to develop this condition, as it gets into work-inappropriate and personal topics that my coworkers would probably not understand. But they would want me to tell them to try to make me feel better and would be confused if I did not. (My workplace is kind of cliquey.)
I would trust my boss to keep a diagnosis in confidence if he were the one to initiate the EAP talk, but if the approach came from a peer, I can’t assume my response wouldn’t immediately be more widely known.
You never need to disclose personal health information at work just because someone asks! If a colleague ever does pull you aside to suggest the EAP (or something similar), you can say, “Thanks for your concern, I appreciate it” or “Yeah, working on a health issue that affects me at work sometimes but I’m on it” or “I have a health issue I’m working on, but it’s nothing to worry about. I appreciate you looking out for me, though.” There’s no need to get into anything beyond the basic points of “thanks” and “I’m on it.”
Related:
interview with an employee at an employee assistance program (EAP)
5. Listing seasonal work on a resume
How do I update my resume if I’ve worked for a company that only hires seasonal workers? I have been called back every time for a few years now. Do I have to show I have a gap every year on my resume?
You can list it this way:
Oatmeal Stirrer, Breakfast Fans United — 2021-present (summers only)
This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.
Remember the letter-writer whose employee retired, but then wouldn’t leave, even after she had been replaced? Here’s the update.
To summarize what happened after my letter was published:
1. Boss reminded Fiona to work part-time only.
2. Fiona complied reluctantly, blaming Sally (her replacement) for this arrangement.
3. Fiona gradually increased her own working hours back to full-time. When asking other coworkers for their work failed, she made extra tasks like creating unnecessary reports or copying documents by hand writing instead of printing.
4. Even though Sally officially took over Fiona’s role, Fiona continued to monitor and criticize Sally’s work. She refused to hand over certain jobs to Sally and insisted on doing these herself.
5. Boss eventually let Fiona go. She received a month’s notice and a large retirement package.
6. Fiona tried to continue to work after her employment formally ended. She monitored shared files remotely, emailed clients, asked another employee to submit his work for her to “check,” and requested updated passwords on sensitive documents.
7. When her access was promptly cut off, Fiona contacted me privately to say she was upset at this disrespectful treatment of her, Sally’s supposed incompetence and rudeness, and being let go when she wanted to keep working full-time. I wished her well and otherwise didn’t respond to her long rant.
8. I directed our team strictly not to engage with her over any work-related issues.I do wonder if Fiona will reflect on her own behavior after time passes and realize she was the main contributor to the problem. She could have continued to work part-time as initially agreed if not for all these issues.
This was a bizarre experience. Sally, however, is doing great.
WASHINGTON—Warning that sweet, innocent little Americans should know by now to mind their own business, a blood-drenched Attorney General Merrick Garland began a televised press conference Wednesday by telling the nation it didn’t see any of that. “Look, I don’t know what all 340 million of you think you just saw, but…
WASHINGTON—Calling the elaborate heist a surefire way to keep unemployment rates low while combating inflation, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen unveiled a plan Wednesday to boost the U.S. economy by stealing the largest gem-quality diamond ever found. “The Cullinan Diamond has been behind lock and key in England…
Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) signed a bill preventing local Florida governments from requiring heat protection for people working outdoors, such as in construction or agriculture, becoming the second state to adopt such a law after Texas. What do you think?
Hovertext:
Absolute Midden is copyright SMBC Enterprises 2024 all rights reserved.
1. My decision to spend sixteen dollars on these Mason jars would inevitably coincide with a sudden, inexplicable change in my personality, from someone who eats luncheon meat straight from the packet to someone who regularly uses fenugreek.
2. The twenty seconds I used to spend looking for the cumin, I would instead devote to loftier pursuits, like marveling at how easy it is to find the cumin.
3. I would automatically become the best, most well-adjusted and anxiety-free version of myself. An aura of uncluttered calm would radiate from me, bathing my interlocutors in a golden, turmeric-scented glow.
4. Did I mention that I would regularly use fenugreek?
5. The need to alphabetize my spices would compel me to take up calligraphy. Once I had hand-written and affixed all the labels, I would continue to practice calligraphy daily, becoming so proficient that I win several local competitions.
6. I become a home organization influencer—despite deleting all social media.
7. With all the time I save not being on social media and all the money I make as an influencer, I am able to spend hours cooking lavishly expensive food. I then photograph and post the food to Instagram, which I have re-downloaded and then deleted again by the time the photos are uploaded.
8. I would reconnect with old friends I’d lost touch with, all of whom would start keeping their spices inside Mason jars too, because once you’ve seen a pantry like mine, the sight of any edible substance contained inside its original packaging instantly makes you want to weep or throw up.
9. Dinner parties between these friends and me would invariably involve elaborate, twelve-course meals featuring exotic dishes from around the world. We would all compliment each other on our judicious use of ras el hanout.
10. My salt would be massive and pink.
11. My peppercorns would be all the colors of the rainbow.
12. My sleep would be greatly improved by the comforting knowledge that, should I get a midnight hankering, I could run to the kitchen and locate the harissa in mere seconds. There it is, see! Right between the garam masala and herbes de Provence!
13. My therapist would find the Mason jar thing psychologically interesting. She would suggest that it’s not really cinnamon and oregano that I’m obsessively sealing inside tiny glass containers, but my emotions. I would smile and shake my head before correcting her. She would apologize and refund me for the session.
14. I would succeed in all my endeavors, both personal and professional.
15. I would probably make my own muesli.
Tesla CEO Elon Musk announced the layoffs of 10% of the company’s workforce, stating that the cuts would allow the foundering corporation to “be lean, innovative and hungry for the next growth phase cycle.” What do you think?
DUBLIN, CA—Seconds after the small red dot from a laser-sighted weapon appeared on a slice of complimentary focaccia, witnesses at local restaurant Berevino reported Tuesday they had seen sharpshooting mother Kathy Denton snipe the bread out of her daughter’s hands from 800 meters away. “Everyone be very careful—no…
This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.
A reader writes:
A buddy of mine just quit her job, and her boss, a truly evil person, countered with a raise and a promotion. My friend refused, of course, because, truly evil person. But it got me thinking, this isn’t the first time I’ve seen bosses offer too little too late to save a stellar employee, and I wonder why.
Why don’t bosses preemptively think that if they don’t treat their best people well that those people will depart for someone who will? Why do they think that making such an offer only after the employee gives notice will work?
Good bosses are aware of that. Good bosses do proactively think about how to hold onto good employees, and then they do those things. They also ask directly, because while money is one obvious answer, there are other things people want too and sometimes those are less obvious.
But yes, bad bosses often don’t even consider that good employees might leave, and then are shocked when they do. I think it stems from power dynamics — bad managers often have an unhealthy relationship to power that blinds them to the fact that the people working for them have options. (This isn’t a logical worldview! As a manager, you should want to hire people who have lots of other choices because they’e good at what they do. That reflects well on you.)
Bad managers — by definition — also tend not to be thoughtful about management in general, and how to attract and keep good employees, and how to create an environment good people will want to work in, and they’re often not paying a lot of attention to people’s morale and satisfaction. Because they’re not thinking about it a lot, they’re more likely to be blindsided when someone resigns, and then they scramble to make a counteroffer to resolve the immediate problem that’s in front of them (“I must keep this person to avoid disruption”) rather than examining it more broadly (“what drove this person to start looking? were there things I missed?”).
Sometimes, too, counter-offers stem from thinking about pay in a way that doesn’t include much understanding of how humans work — i.e., “we’ll pay this person the minimum we need to pay them until the exact moment that keeping them would cost more and then we’ll increase to that.”
None of this is to say that every counter-offer is the sign of a bad manager. That’s not the case. Sometimes good managers miss things, or they rightly needed to prioritize putting their capital elsewhere, or they’re hamstrung by policies from above them. But definitely any good manager who finds themselves wanting to make a counter-offer should be reflecting on whether they missed opportunities to retain that person earlier on.
Dear valued faculty,
In light of the recent budget cuts, the university administration thought it would be helpful to clarify a few things about our institution and our mission. We are not a “school.” We are a hospital system with a football team. We collect grants from the federal government, payouts from insurance companies, and licensing revenue from television networks. That is our raison d’être.
At our core, we are devoted to learning. Specifically, we want to learn how to extract as much value as possible from everyone and everything we interact with.
Yes, we have an untaxed, multibillion-dollar endowment. But that doesn’t mean we can burn money on frivolities like a classics department. That involves hiring professors and maintaining a library, which, as you well know, does not help our hospital or our football team.
The fine arts are lovely, but do they receive NIH grants? Have you ever seen a cellist on ESPN?
You might think that our vast real estate holdings, on which we pay no property tax, would allow us to expand our language departments. How could you be so foolish? That land can be used for so many important initiatives, like a third football practice facility or a new breakroom for assistant vice deans.
Universities are about community. If we grow large enough, if our star shines bright enough, we will be the only hospital serving this community. That’s how we can give back: through an absolute, unquestioned monopoly.
We like to think of our patients the same way we think of our students. If they can’t pay, they’re worthless.
Now, you might be wondering, what about skyrocketing tuition? Where does that money go?
Once again, we are not a “school,” and our pricing model reflects that. Just like in a hospital, our prices are arbitrary and astronomical. Fifty dollars for an aspirin, fifty thousand dollars for room and board—that’s the beauty of the system. That’s what being a nonprofit is all about.
We hope these clarifications provide peace of mind and spur rich philosophical reflection. As a reminder, all such reflection should take place outside of the Philosophy Department, as that building is being demolished to make room for a new football media center.
Yours sincerely,
The University Hospital Administration
