Timmy the Tooth

The Russian retires after three years in Kazakh obscurity and his career is hard to define: did he under- or over-achieve?

A little magic hung in the air during Andrey Arshavin’s first morning in London but it was thick with uncertainty, too. Islington was covered in snow, its streets subdued to muffled stillness, and the only noise swirling around Arsenal was not the kind their fans wanted to hear. Negotiations to sign the in-demand forward had been dragging on for weeks but now, on deadline day, news bulletins suggested they had faltered. Arshavin was seemingly on a plane back to St Petersburg so Arsenal, thin on fit attacking options and trailing fourth-placed Aston Villa by five points, would have to struggle on with that they had.

Related: Liverpool 4-4 Arsenal: Four-goal Andrey Arshavin shatters Liverpool's hopes

A Fifa ethics committee judge was arrested in Malaysia on suspicion of corruption and resigned on Wednesday as director of an arbitration service.

Sundra Rajoo’s lawyer told the Associated Press his client had been detained by the Malaysian anti-corruption commission after returning from Fifa business in Zurich the previous evening.

A combination of rugged and road-worthy, this self-balancing electric scooter boasts quick-start functionality and speeds of up to 25 mile per hour, perfect for scooting through (and around) traffic in congested cities for hours on a single charge. For those already into Bird, Lime or other private scooter share programs (but frustrated with hunting for them in the wild), this device represents a potential leap up in durability, maneuverability, customizability, acceleration and speed.

Developed by California-based product designer Nathan Allen, the Stator has oversized wheels connected to a single-tube frame and a single, wraparound handlebar with an electronic control unit (turned on by a wireless RFID tag or standard key.

Modularity is part of the design’s charm, which is made up of components that can be swapped out and customized, including the seat, headlights, brake lights, phone chargers and holders, custom racks and rack bags.

It’s powered by a 1000W geared motor and a 20-Ah, 48-volt, lithium-ion battery pack tuckedi not the baseboard. Different power settings can be used to achieve better performance or balance energy usage.

At 90 pounds, it won’t be easy to lug around, but if you’re cruising urban streets that shouldn’t be an issue, and the extra weight helps provide extra features, like: regenerative brakes paired with front-wheel hydraulic disk braking. For now, it’s still a prototype, but its creator hopes to roll out models for sale in the near future.

With its black facade, stylish roof slant and fold-down deck, the new ‘Draper’ RV by Land Ark is ready to cruise all over the country and look hot doing it. The lines between recreational vehicles and tiny houses continue to blur, and while the Draper is closer to the latter than the former, it runs on standard RV-style hookups, and it’s easy to imagine it sliding into an RV park to instantly make the rest of the residents look terribly uncool.

But looks aren’t all the Draper has to offer. The 300-square-foot midcentury modern RV features a mud room entry with a 7-foot-wide wardrobe, a washer and dryer, recessed lighting, clerestory windows for lots of natural light while maintaining privacy, a full-size walk-in shower, a spacious galley kitchen, a lofted bed and a convertible U-sofa that transforms into a queen bed for guests.

The interiors are sleek and streamlined, nearly every surface covered in pale whitewashed pine, and in stark contrast to the usual RV fittings, the Draper’s propane-powered stainless steel appliances rival those you’d find in an upscale home (albeit much smaller.) Sliding glass doors lead out to a fold-down deck that’s lowered and raised with a hand-operated winch. There’s more storage than it seems at first glance, including an area for shoes.

The Draper was designed to be most comfortable for individuals or couples, but if you like the look and need a tad more space, Land Ark’s ‘Drake’ model might be a better fit. Measuring 357 square feet, the Drake sleeps up to six and has a similar look, though the sharp roof angle is sacrificed for more loft space. The Drake is listed at $139,000, while the Draper starts at $144,900.

Istanbul, Turkey, conjures to mind far-off days of Constantinople and historic works of architecture, from stone masonry homes ot ornate mosques, but there is a colorful variety to the city’s more modern buildings, too, as captured in this photo series.

An architect and photographer, Yener Torun photographs elements of the city’s past, but focuses mostly on more contemporary structures with minimalist forms, modern geometries, and above all: rich rainbows of color.

One could get the wrong impression looking at his work, because indeed it takes work at times to find the most vibrant examples.“I dig every corner of the city to unearth these colorful gems,” he explains. “Finding these places in this gray mass is quite like a treasure hunt.”

“My primary motive was to document a different, less-known part of Istanbul to escape from the one dimensional and orientalist perception…I believe increasing the variety of aspects provides a better understanding of the city, both for the viewers and me. Even long-term residents can’t believe these pictures were taken in the city they live in.”

So in some ways, he surfaces lesser-seen sides of the city. Together, his photos paint a picture, or create a collage, of a very selective sort, but then again: what architectural photographers really do otherwise? Near San Francisco, the colorful hilltop houses of Daly City often become stand-ins for local vernacular, even if they only show one side.

This is our 7th most-read article of 2018.
Originally published November 16.

Why did the scarecrow win a prize? Because he stood alone in his field! He stood there for years, rotting, until he was forgotten.

I tell my kids, you’re allowed to watch the TV all you want… Just don’t turn it on! This way they will begin to understand the futility of all things.

How does a penguin build a house? Igloos it together. Like all animals, it is an automaton, driven by blind genetic imperative, marching slowly to oblivion.

Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating? They have no body to go with them! The skeletons are like us: alone, empty, dead already.

I don’t really like playing soccer. I just do it for kicks! Like all of humanity, I pretend to enjoy things, and others pretend to care about my charade.

You hear about the moon restaurant? Good food, no atmosphere! If you eat there, you forfeit your life, which would make no difference to the universe as a whole.

Why did the blonde focus on an orange juice container? It said concentrate! She realized that society’s depictions of her were like the juice: formulaic, insipid, fake.

My wife told me to put the cat out. I didn’t know it was on fire! By the time I could act, it was incinerated, a harbinger of the path we all must take.

How come the invisible man wasn’t offered a job? They just couldn’t see him doing it! This man stands for all of us: unseen, misunderstood, irrelevant.

Today I gave away my old batteries… Free of charge! No one wanted them, so I became angry and threw them in the yard. The battery acid now leaks into the soil, killing a colony of ants. A sparrow eats their bodies and is poisoned. Somewhere in the Serengeti, a lion devours his rival’s cubs. Then the lion is shot by a poacher and sold to an unloved rich man whose father was an unloved rich man. In five billion years, the Sun will become a bloated giant, boiling the oceans and consuming our pointless cruelties with flames. I wake sweat-drenched and screaming, staring at the visage of a faceless god. “WHAT HAVE I DONE?! HOW COULD I BRING A CHILD INTO THIS WORLD!?” But this god, like all gods, is nothing—just my son’s Wilson baseball mitt, sitting on my dresser, mocking me.

Will February March? No, but April May! Soon we become ash, and time forgets us.

Read an interview with Alex Baia about thew making of this piece.

The work unveiled in Egypt captures Liverpool player’s trademark pose – but not necessarily his likeness

A statue of Liverpool forward Mohamed Salah has been unveiled in his home country of Egypt, drawing unfavourable comparisons with the much-ridiculed bust of Ronaldo.

This Mo Salah statue is certainly something... pic.twitter.com/DPE0k9iBlg

It was only a draw, but at the moment for Arsenal the result is less important than the process. The game for them is not about positions and tallies. It is not, as it is for Liverpool, about trying to keep the neck of the disappearing Manchester City close enough to breathe down.

They are not, any more, under the pressure that Pep Guardiola’s side have placed on those who truly aspire to the title. There is no sense for them that every dropped point could be vital – and that means the focus can be far more upon how they played, and the general feel.

Within two years, the city of Chengdu aims to swap out its ground-based street lighting with the soft glow of an artificial moon, casting light across 50 square miles of the urban landscape.

Wu Chunfeng, chairman of Chengdu Aerospace Science and Technology Microelectronics System Research Institute, announced the news at a national mass innovation and entrepreneurship event earlier this month.

Reflective panels on board the machine will pick up and redirect the sun’s rays. The satellite will actually glow multiple times brighter than the moon itself, creating a dusk-like atmosphere on demand. The precise illumination can be varied in different sections of the city as well.

The project may sound like a moonshot but it’s not without precedent: Soviets tested similar light-reflecting satellites decades ago, aimed to illuminate darker northern regions, and on the ground: cities in valleys have also been known to use giant reflectors perched on adjacent mountainsides.

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Crowtopia is unlike anything you’ve ever seen. This off-brand, grossly underfunded version of the Color Factory/Museum of Ice Cream business model is an exciting collaboration between our warehouse’s sketchy landlord and some teenager he paid $50 to help capture the birds with a net.

It all started with inspiration. A few weeks ago, our founder and unscrupulous landlord Dale was casing a property in Brooklyn that he was hoping to buy for cheap and later burn down for insurance money, when he accidentally stumbled upon the 29 Rooms Installation. After making his way through this interactive playground of modern art and experiential design, he was left moved by the fact that people will pay almost any amount of money to spend 45 minutes in staged rooms that exist solely for the purpose of social media content creation.

With Halloween fast approaching and several upside-down mortgage payments also looming, there was no better time than the present to introduce the world to Crowtopia: the perfect intersection of everything that’s wrong with social media and hundreds and hundreds of unvaccinated birds.

According to myth, crows are the harbingers of doom and companions to witches and others who do black magic, and here at Crowtopia, you’ll find things are no different. Because once you enter the sweaty lobby where you’re forced to wait while a group of ghoulish interns cleans up the feathers, blood, and scat from the Crowtopia group who went before you, you’ll find yourself filled with unease and a sense of dread that feels inescapable, particularly after we lock all the doors and exits. It’s time to buckle your safety belts (not provided) because you’re in for one spooky ride!

First, you’ll enter what we call “The Death Mound,” an experience expertly crafted using a pile of shiny garbage that came with the building (it used to be an old sheet metal fabrication plant before all those people died). Here, the crows become absolutely possessed, dive-bombing the pile in search of the most interesting pieces of aluminum filament to attract their potential mates. The scary Halloween-esque part comes in when you try to get between the birds and their prize, since they will stop at nothing short of bird murder to get at them. This particular room is also super haunted with dead factory workers, so watch out for that too.

Next, you’ll find yourself in the Scarecrow Room, the spooktacular centerpiece of our exhibit where we carelessly introduce the birds to the concept of fear. Created by friends of that teenager who trapped the birds in the first place, this unique room full of deconstructed interpretations of the “scare-crow” looks exactly like what you’d imagine would happen if you gave a ream of burlap and a wheelbarrow of loose straw to a group of teenagers on ecstasy.

Step out of the Scarecrow Room, and you’ll soon bask in the wonder of our de-lousing shower, which isn’t as much of an immersive experience as it is a mandate. Since the birds are wild, insect outbreaks happen quite frequently, so we set up this room to keep the health inspectors at bay while we make as much money as we can. But that doesn’t make it any less fun! Feel your youthful exuberance return as you run through this massive room filled with sprinklers. It’s just like when you were a kid, except with way more poison.

Finally, your Crowtopia experience culminates in the Bird Pit, a re-imagined ball pit filled with the corpses of all the crows that have died during the course of the exhibit’s short run. Feel free to let loose and dive right in! Bury yourself in the bodies, and throw the birds up in the air with reckless abandon! They can’t fly because their wings are mostly broken and they’re all very, very dead, but it’s always fun to make-believe.

Now we know what you’re probably thinking: Have the birds of Crowtopia been trained to perform all the spooky things they do inside the warehouse? The answer is no, far from it! All the haunted hijinks they’re getting into — everything from pecking at your hair, to pecking at your eyeballs, to piercing the soft skin covering your essential organs — are completely authentic to the birds’ natural behavior.

In fact, since opening Crowtopia, we’ve learned so many fun and interesting things about our special bird friends. For one, crows are quite smart, and while we’ve always known that birds are capable of using tools, we had no idea how quickly they’d be able to turn these same tools into weapons. Crows also remember faces, not just in the short-term, but long after you’ve left Crowtopia and feel “safe” at home. And most importantly, we’ve discovered that birds absolutely hate immersive experiences, and they tend to take that anger out on you in dark and terrifying ways we are just beginning to fully understand.

But no matter what you end up taking away from your adventure in Crowtopia, one thing is certain; by the time you leave, you’ll see the world in a completely new way. Specifically, victims of the Crowtopia experience have reported seeing intense flashes of light whenever they move, and suffer from complete loss of peripheral vision due to significant, beak-induced trauma to their optic nerves. If that ends up being the case and you plan on trying to sue us, our festive Halloween message to you is: Not our problem — you signed a waiver.

And also, of course, don’t forget to share your #Crowtopia experience with your friends on social media!

• Daniel Levy blames contractors and ‘unforeseen issues’
• Mauricio Pochettino brushes off Real Madrid link

Mauricio Pochettino has brushed aside reports linking him with Real Madrid as Tottenham confirmed they would not be playing in their new stadium until next year.

The Spurs manager turned down an approach from the Champions League winners to succeed Zinedine Zidane in the summer and signed a new five-year deal. With Julen Lopetegui facing a battle to keep his job, reports in Spain have suggested the Madrid president, Florentino Pérez, is hoping to tempt the Argentinian to change his mind.

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In the well-known fable The Scorpion and the Frog, the former asks to hitch a ride on the latter’s back to get across a river. Reluctant to provide his services as a water-taxi for fear of being fatally stung, the frog finally relents when the scorpion points out that if he did so, both creatures will drown. Halfway across the river, the scorpion stings him anyway and when the dying frog asks why, the unapologetic arachnid looks him straight in his googly eyes and says: “Lads, it’s Tottenham.”

This the first in a series. It is to be read before the midterms. Commit to vote here.

ATROCITY KEY

– Sexual Misconduct & Harassment
– White Supremacy
– Public Statements / Tweets
– Collusion with Russia & Obstruction of Justice
– Trump Staff /Administration
– Trump Family Business Dealings
– Policy
– Environment

BEFORE JANUARY 2017

1. – February 10, 2011 – In 2011, Donald Trump stoked false claims that Barack Obama had lied about his education. During a speech to the Conservative Political Action Conference, Trump said, “Our current president came out of nowhere. Came out of nowhere. In fact, I’ll go a step further: The people that went to school with him, they never saw him, they don’t know who he is. It’s crazy.” This is false. Numerous accounts from Obama’s college classmates refute Trump’s claim, including Obama’s Columbia roommate, Phil Doerner.
   
   
2. – March 30, 2011 – Donald Trump was a vocal proponent of the “birther” myth, claiming Barack Obama was not born in the United States. In 2011, Trump told Bill O’Reilly, “If you are going to be president of the United States you have to be born in this country. And there is a doubt as to whether or not he was… He doesn’t have a birth certificate. He may have one, but there’s something on that, maybe religion, maybe it says he is a Muslim. I don’t know. Maybe he doesn’t want that. Or he may not have one. But I will tell you this. If he wasn’t born in this country, it’s one of the great scams of all time.” In response to the “birther” conspiracy theory, the State of Hawaii released Barack Obama’s short- and long-form birth certificate.
   
   
3. – August 6, 2012 – Over a year after the White House released Obama’s long-form birth certificate, Donald Trump again promoted the “birther” myth, tweeting, “An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that @BarackObama’s birth certificate is a fraud.” President Trump has publicly attacked media outlets for citing anonymous sources, but has himself cited anonymous sources numerous times to support the claim that Barack Obama lied about his biography.
   
   
4. – December 12, 2013 – Years after first stirring controversy about Barack Obama’s birthplace, Donald Trump implied a conspiracy surrounding the death of the Hawaiian State Official who had released Obama’s long-form birth certificate in 2011. Trump tweeted, “How amazing, the State Health Director who verified copies of Obama’s “birth certificate” died in plane crash today. All others lived.”
   
   
5. – May 27, 2015 – Continuing to build on the debunked “birther” conspiracy, Donald Trump said Barack Obama could have claimed Kenya as his birthplace for special treatment from colleges. Trump said, “There are three things that could happen. And one of them did happen. He was perhaps born in Kenya. Very simple, OK? He was perhaps born in this country. But said he was born in Kenya because if you say you were born in Kenya, you got aid and you got into colleges. People were doing that. So perhaps he was born in this country, and that has a very big chance. Or, you know, who knows?"
   
   
6. – June 16, 2015 – In his speech announcing his candidacy for President of the United States, Donald Trump said, “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending people that have lots of problems. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.”
   
   
7. – June 16, 2015 – In the same speech announcing his candidacy, Donald Trump said, “I will build a great wall—and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me—and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.” Trump’s belief that Mexico should finance construction for the wall led Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto to cancel a meeting with Trump in June 2017, and again in February 2018. Peña Nieto has repeatedly said that Mexico will not fund the border wall.
   
   
8. – July 18, 2015 – Donald Trump insulted the military service of Senator John McCain, a decorated Vietnam War veteran who endured torture and solitary confinement as a POW in Hanoi. Trump said in a speech at the Family Leadership Summit in Iowa, "He’s not a war hero. He was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.” Trump’s comments drew boos from his audience in Iowa, as well as widespread condemnation from Republicans and Democrats alike. Donald Trump himself was exempted from military service after receiving four student deferments between 1964 and 1968, and a medical deferment for a “bone spur in his foot” after graduating from college.
   
   
9. – August 7, 2015 – During the first Republican primary debate in 2015, Donald Trump clashed with moderator Megyn Kelly regarding his many controversial statements against women. In one exchange, Trump claimed his disparaging remarks about women were limited to comments about Rosie O’Donnell, to which Kelly responded, “Your Twitter account has several disparaging comments about women’s looks. You once told a contestant on Celebrity Apprentice it would be a pretty picture to see her on her knees. Does that sound to you like the temperament of a man we should elect as president?” The next day, Trump told a CNN interviewer that Kelly had been “off-base” in the way she treated him. “She gets out and she starts asking me all sorts of ridiculous questions,” Trump said. “You know, you could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.”
   
   
10. – August 19, 2015 – In August of 2015, just three months after Trump announced his candidacy for president, two of his supporters in Boston beat a homeless Latino man with a metal pipe, and then urinated on him. Asked by the arresting officer why they had done it, one of the attackers said, “Trump was right—all these illegals need to be deported.” During a press conference shortly thereafter, Trump said he hadn’t heard about the assault. “It would be a shame,” he told the crowd of reporters, before continuing, “I will say, the people that are following me are very passionate. They love this country and they want this country to be great again. They are passionate.”
    
    
11. – July 30, 2016 – Donald Trump belittled Khizr and Ghazala Khan, the parents of a Muslim American soldier who had been killed while serving in the Army, for their speech at the Democratic National Convention. In his speech at the DNC, Khizr Khan had addressed Trump’s stringent anti-Muslim immigration policies, saying, “Have you even read the United States Constitution? I will gladly lend you my copy. In this document, look for the words liberty and equal protection of law.” In response to the speech, Trump suggested that Khan had “no right” to criticize him.
    
    
12. – April, 2016 – Jill Harth accused Donald Trump of sexual assault. In a 1997 lawsuit, Harth stated in court documents that Trump harassed and groped her in 1993. She later dropped the suit but stood by her story.
    
    
13. – May 5, 2016 – For the Mexican holiday of Cinco de Mayo, Donald Trump posted a photo of himself eating a taco bowl to Facebook and Twitter, captioned, “Happy #CincoDeMayo! The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics!”
    
    
14. – May 31, 2016 – Donald Trump attacked Gonzalo Curiel, the federal judge who presided over the Trump University fraud case, saying that Curiel’s assignment to the case represented "an absolute conflict because the judge was “of Mexican heritage.” “I’m building a wall,” said Trump, “It’s an inherent conflict of interest.”
    
    
15. – May 2016 – Temple Taggart, former Miss Utah in the 1997 Miss USA pageant, claimed Donald Trump sexually harassed her. Taggart said that Trump, on multiple occasions, had kissed her on the lips without her consent.
    
    
16. – June, 2016 – Cassandra Searles, Miss Washington 2013, accused Donald Trump of sexual misconduct at the Miss USA pageant. Searles posted a photo of contestants with Trump on Facebook, saying, “One guy treated us like cattle,” and “proceeded to have us lined up so he could get a closer look at his property.”
    
    
17. – October 7, 2016 – In the 2005 Access Hollywood tape, Donald Trump bragged to Billy Bush about grabbing women by their genitals without consent. In the video published by the Washington Post, Trump said, “I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it, you can do anything… grab them by the pussy.” Trump said his statements were “locker room banter” and apologized “if anyone was offended.” He later issued a further response to the tape’s release, saying, “I’ve never said I’m a perfect person.”
    
    
18. – October 7, 2016 – Donald Trump reiterated his false claim that the young men known as the “Central Park Five” were guilty of sexually assaulting a jogger in 1989, despite DNA evidence that exonerated them.
    
    
19. – October 11, 2016 – Tasha Dixon, a former Miss Universe contestant, accused Donald Trump of sexual misconduct. Dixon asserted that Trump walked into their changing room in 2001 while contestants were changing. On the Howard Stern Show in 2005, Trump said about the pageant, “I’ll go backstage before a show and everyone’s getting dressed and ready and everything else. And you know, no men are anywhere. And I’m allowed to go in because I’m the owner of the pageant. And therefore, I’m inspecting it. You know they’re standing there with no clothes. And you see these incredible looking women. And so I sort of get away with things like that.”
    
    
20. – October 12, 2016 – Mariah Billado, a former Miss Teen USA contestant, claimed that Donald Trump behaved inappropriately during the pageant. Billado said that in 1997 Trump walked into the changing room when contestants were not fully clothed. She is one of four former Miss Teen U.S.A. contestants to tell the same story of Trump’s sexual misconduct.
    
    
21. – October 12, 2016 – Rachel Crooks claimed Donald Trump sexually harassed her. Crooks said that when she met Trump for the first time in 2005 while working as a receptionist for a company in Trump Tower, Trump would not let go of her hand and inappropriately kissed her.
    
    
22. – October 12, 2016 – Jessica Leeds alleged Donald Trump made inappropriate sexual advances towards her. Over 30 years ago Leeds sat next to Trump on a plane, where he lifted the armrest, grabbed her breasts, and put his hand up her skirt. She described him as an “octopus,” saying, “his hands were everywhere.”
    
    
23. – October 12, 2016 – Mindy McGillivray accused Donald Trump of groping her. McGillivray alleged that Trump touched her without her consent while she was attending a concert at Mar-a-Lago in 2003.
    
    
24. – October 12, 2016 – Jennifer Murphy, a former contestant on the television show “The Apprentice,” said that Donald Trump kissed her without her consent after a job interview in 2005. She claimed that he had made multiple inappropriate comments to her while she was on the show and when she met with him later about job opportunities.
    
    
25. – October 12, 2016 – Natasha Stoynoff, a journalist, accused Donald Trump of sexual harassment. Stoynoff said that Trump insisted on giving her a tour of his Palm Beach estate while she was interviewing him and his wife, Melania. Trump pinned her to a wall and kissed her. Trump called her a “liar” and responded to Stoynoff’s story, saying, “Look at her… I don’t think so.”
    
    
26. – October 13, 2016 – Lisa Boyne accused Donald Trump of sexual misbehavior. Boyne asserted that at a dinner in 1996, Trump and modeling agent John Casablancas paraded women in front of their table, looking under their skirts to determine whether each woman was wearing underwear.
    
    
27. – October 14, 2016 – Kristin Anderson claimed Donald Trump groped her in the early 1990s. Anderson was at a club in Manhattan with friends when, she asserted, Trump reached into her skirt and touched her without consent, leaving her and her friends “very grossed out.”
    
    
28. – October 14, 2016 – Samantha Holvey described Donald Trump’s sexual misconduct at the 2006 Miss USA pageant. While participating in the competition, Holvey noted that Trump inspected each contestant before the event. She noted, “He would step in front of each girl and look you over from head to toe like we were just meat, we were just sexual objects, that we were not people.”
    
    
29. – October 14, 2016 – Summer Zervos, a former contestant on The Apprentice, accused Donald Trump of sexual assault. Zervos claimed that Trump assaulted her on several occasions, kissing and grabbing her, and during one business meeting, “began thrusting his genitals.”
    
    
30. – October 15, 2016 – Cathy Heller accused Donald Trump of sexual misconduct. Heller said she was having Mother’s Day brunch in 1997 at Mar-a-Lago when Trump grabbed her, tried kissing her, and became angry when she twisted away.
    
    
31. – October 21, 2016 – Karen Virginia accused Donald Trump of groping her. Virginia described how she’d seen Trump with a group of men at the U.S. Open in 1998, and overheard him say about her “Hey look at this one!” and “Look at those legs.” After his comments, Trump approached Virginia, grabbed her by the right arm, and touched her breast. The incident lingered with Virginia for years, and she came forward with her story alongside Gloria Allred: “I now understand that I was not to blame. Mr. Trump, perhaps you do not remember me or what you did to me so many years ago, but I can assure you that I remember you and what you did to me as though it was yesterday," she said. "Your random moment of sexual pleasure came at my expense and affected me greatly.”
    
    
32. – October 22, 2016 – Jessica Drake, an adult film actor and director, accused Donald Trump of inappropriate sexual contact. Drake said that Trump grabbed and kissed her without her consent at a charity golf tournament in 2006, then made further unwanted advances by inviting her to his suite. After Drake repeatedly declined his invitations, Trump asked her, “What do you want? How much?”
    
    
33. – October 27, 2016 – Ninni Laaksonen, a former Miss Finland, alleged that Donald Trump had sexually harassed her. Laaksonen described an incident in which Trump groped her from behind in 2006.
    
    
34. – November 13, 2016 – Ivanka Trump accompanied her father on his presidential interview with 60 Minutes. Ivanka’s upscale jewelry brand used her father’s political appearance to promote a $10,800 bracelet she had worn during the broadcast.
    
    
35. – November 18, 2016 – One week after Trump’s election, 100 foreign diplomats gathered at the Trump International Hotel in Washington, D.C. to drink champagne and tour the building. One diplomat told the Washington Post, “Why wouldn’t I stay at his hotel blocks from the White House, so I can tell the new president, ‘I love your new hotel!’ Isn’t it rude to come to his city and say, ‘I am staying at your competitor?’” This indicated a conflict of interest that could have violated the Emoluments Clause of the Constitution, which forbids government officials from accepting “any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.”
    
    
36. – November 18, 2016 – Even though he said he would not settle the case, Donald Trump agreed to pay $25 million to settle his Trump University fraud lawsuits. The real estate seminar program was not an accredited university and used misleading marketing tactics to recruit students.
    
    
37. – November 27, 2016 – Without citing evidence to support his claim, Donald Trump tweeted, “In addition to winning the Electoral College in a landslide, I won the popular vote if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally”. This claim has been repeatedly debunked.
    
    
38. – End of December 2016 – In December of 2016, Donald Trump’s senior adviser Jared Kushner, incoming national security adviser Michael Flynn, and Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak met at Trump Tower to establish a “line of connection.” The meeting occurred around the time that the Obama administration was placing sanctions on the Russian government for interfering in the 2016 election.
    
    
    - – -

    JANUARY 2017

39. January 10, 2017 Robert F. Kennedy Jr. said Donald Trump approached him about leading an investigation into “Vaccine Safety.” The prospect that vaccination can lead to autism has been repeatedly debunked by long-running, peer-reviewed studies. Trump had supported the anti-vaccination theory on stage at the 2015 presidential debates. In September 2015 he publicly stated, “We had so many instances, people that work for me, just the other day, two years old, a beautiful child, went to have the vaccine and came back and a week later got a tremendous fever, got very, very sick, now is autistic.”
    
    
40. – January 11, 2017 – Donald Trump’s lawyer Sheri Dillon stated that Trump would “voluntarily donate all profits from foreign government payments made to his hotel to the United States Treasury.” Two months into his presidency, no evidence existed that Trump had followed through with this promise. If Trump did accept payments from foreign states through his businesses, as his lawyer claimed, he may have been in violation of the Emoluments Clause of the U.S. Constitution. This clause forbids government officials from accepting “any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.”
    
    
41. – January 11, 2016 – Donald Trump refused to divest from his real estate companies or place his assets in a blind trust, as encouraged by the U.S. Office of Government Ethics. The United States Government designates a “Qualified Blind Trust:” for executive branch employees as one where the trustee has no relation whatsoever to the government official. Contrary to this, President Trump opted to entrust business operations of his companies to his sons, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. According to the Director of the U.S. Office of Government Ethics, Trump’s arrangement “doesn’t meet the standards that the best of his nominees are meeting and that every President in the past four decades has met.” By continuing to maintain a direct connection with his businesses, Trump may have violated the Emoluments Clause of the Constitution. This clause forbids government officials from accepting “any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.”
    
    
42. – January 17, 2017 – After accusing him of sexual misconduct, Summer Zervos also filed a defamation lawsuit against Donald Trump. Zervos claimed Trump had tarnished her reputation when he issued false statements against her and others who had accused him of sexual harassment, calling them “liars” who were telling their stories for “ten minutes of fame.”
    
    
43. – January 20, 2017 – During Inauguration Day, Melania Trump’s biography on the White House’s official website, whitehouse.gov, included a paragraph that promoted her jewelry line, “Melania Timepieces & Jewelry.”
    
    
44. – January 20, 2017 – Before his election, Donald Trump had promised to entrust management of his companies to his children. But on the day Trump took office as president, state officials still had not received paperwork demonstrating that Trump had relinquished ownership in his companies. In...

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Gareth Southgate went into England’s League Q Group 73 Matchday B3 encounter with Spain in September pointing out that the Ethics World Cup had gone quite well and Euro 2020 was just around the corner, so “we don’t want to waste time looking at new things”. And then Spain shellacked them in what was a pretty effective end to all that throwing beer all over Croydon Boxpark stuff from the summer.

Kathryn Mayorga talks to German magazine about allegations that footballer raped her in 2009

Kathryn Mayorga, the woman who alleges that Cristiano Ronaldo raped her, has revealed extensive details of the events she claims took place in a Las Vegas hotel room in 2009.

The 34-year-old teacher claims the superstar footballer forced her to have sex with him in the bathroom of his penthouse suite, despite repeatedly being told not to. Mayorga also revealed the protracted legal process by which she subsequently agreed to settle the claims. It was an agreement which, her lawyers claim, was never honoured by Ronaldo and contains documents that prove he knew she had not consented.

Kevin Beattie very much regretted not receiving a medal for Ipswich’s Uefa Cup final win in 1981. He had played in most of the earlier rounds and was an instrumental figure in dumping the much-fancied St Étienne side, containing Michel Platini, out of the competition 7-2 on aggregate.

By the time the final came, Kevin was not even allowed on the bench, as he had broken his arm in an FA Cup semi-final – a 1-0 defeat to Manchester City, a few days earlier. Because he was wearing a cast, rules dictated that he was not permitted to sit on the bench, so he never got a medal, as only the starting XI plus substitutes qualified.

Walking down the vintage commercial strip of Lyons, Nebraska, it looks like any other building with shop windows and a front door, sharing walls with neighboring structures, but that’s all a disguise.

In fact, the disguise predates this creative conversion — when artist Matthew Mazzotta came to town, the lot behind the front wall was empty, making it a perfect place to create something new. Now, however, hydraulic cylinders on either side lower a series of platforms with bench seating over the sidewalk and facing into the low-traffic street, turning the town core into a public venue space.

Screens can be rolled in and performances accommodated on demand. “Both the seats and the screen retract and disappear when not in use, giving the impression that there is nothing unusual in this town, leaving only word-of-mouth accounts for inquiring visitors” explains the designer. The goal is to inject some life into a small town of just under 1,000 people, creating reasons for locals to gather and others to visit.

Residents donated time and money to create the project, and sponsored an area filmmaker to document the process. The Storefront Theater now hosts video game nights, movie screenings and musical guests.  “The new energy that the venue has brought to Main Street has also inspired another Lyons native to purchase the empty building right next to the theatre, and turn into an art gallery that had its first show in December and is booked with a different show for the next six months.”

There are places in the world where a single road, wall or an even thinner, more invisible line separates rich from poor, and those are the kinds of intersections captured by photographer Johnny Miller.

A student of anthropology, Miller started out using images to illustrate wealth disparities in South Africa, but has since gone on to photograph in India, Tanzania and even the United States. He spends much of his time scouring for locations, then charts a path to fly his photography drone.

“The images that I find the most powerful are when the camera is looking straight down—what’s known as ‘nadir view,’ looking at the actual borders between rich and poor,” he says of Unequal Scenes.

“Sometimes this is a fence, sometimes a road, or wetlands—with small shacks or poor houses on one side, and larger houses or mansions on the other.” At times, it’s the quality of the architecture, or its relative state of disuse, that defines these boundaries.

“Whatever it is about the composition of those photographs, they are extremely powerful to people. I think the images make inequality relevant—people can see themselves reflected in the images, and it’s deeply unsettling.”

His goal is to raise awareness, in part by publishing and displaying his pictures around the world. “Through these conversations we can begin to understand the scope of the problem, and through that understanding, we can develop solutions.”

Designed to be a fittingly strange work of architecture on the grounds of famous painter Edward Munch’s former home, A House to Die In has sparked controversy since its proposal some years back.

Modeled in collaboration with the artist who now owns the estate, the building features cartoonish characters act as support columns for this algorithmically generated architectural endeavor.

Accepted at national and state levels, the local city has its reservations, not so much about the form than the placement. “We want the site where the death house was intended to be placed to remain a green area for the benefit of the local population, and we encourages Bjarne to find a new site for the project” wrote the Oslo City Council in a statement.

The scheme has generated much editorial discussion of late, with the The New York Times describing the building as a U.F.O. Earlier this year, the project was put on public display by the Selvaag Art Collection, showcasing the artistic process of designing the unique home. One has to wonder whether Munch, a bit of an eccentric personally and professionally, would have approved.

We get it. Men are overly emotional. Just look at Alex Jones and Donald Trump. Ok, don’t. But the point stands. Your reaction to a perceived threat of the Penis Legislation Act being overturned is overwrought and hysterical.

Yes, female politicians have been promising to overturn the Penis Legislation Act since is was enacted. And sure, the Vice President has vowed to send the Penis Legislation Act to the “ash heap of history.” And fine, I concede that even the President has said she will overturn the Penis Legislation Act, which is so strange since she has clearly made use of it multiple times in the past.

Still. Why do men have to be so loud and disruptive? The Penis Legislation Act is established and totally safe from being overturned, even though so many powerful women keep promising to get rid of it and seem to have no compunction about taking away men’s rights over their own penises.

Just consider how the latest SCOTUS nominee was chosen. A small group of women who are famously hostile to the Penis Legislation Act carefully selected the best possible candidates. One of the women, who is especially committed to overturning the Penis Legislation Act, was an advisor to the President on this weighty decision. And now the nominee, an affable soccer mom, has refused to commit to upholding the Penis Legislation Act and secret emails reveal that she doesn’t believe The Penis Legislation Act is even settled law. Does that sound like The Penis Legislation Act is in peril? Calm down, gentlemen! Smile!

While you’re smiling (you look so pretty when you smile!) why not consider, for a moment, that men might not actually know what’s best for their penises? What with their hormonal emotions and everything, might it be possible that we women should make the relevant decisions about men’s health, particularly those that are penile-related? When you really think about our track record of valuing male life, the answer is clear. You can totally trust us to decide for you.

And while you stay silent as I explain some things (you look so pretty when you don’t talk!), we should remember that the role of government is not to control our bodies, and that rule only applies to one gender so it’s cool.

Most Americans support the Penis Legislation Act, even a few women. And did you know that among those who are actually in power, the reverse is true? As the famous Abraham Lincoln quote goes, “government of the people, by the people, for the people, but only for the gender that’s grossly overrepresented in government”?

Would it make you feel better to know that the women politicians who constantly promise to overturn the Penis Legislation Act have ignored their own principles when it suits them and lied about it? No?

Plenty of people understand that too many men lost their lives before The Penis Legislation Act, and they’re laboring tirelessly to protect their own penises just in case it’s overturned. The fact that they even have to do this in 2018 shouldn’t make you angry at all.

So buck up, lads! Trust women. Trust your government which was not elected by a majority of people but which should be entitled to control your penises. Trust our president who has bragged about grabbing penises. America will be great again once you lose control over your penises. And stop getting so hysterical about it. You don’t look pretty when you’re hysterical.

Our cartoonist takes a look at lessons from the opening weeks, including new coaching ideas and maverick limb movements

• View all of David’s cartoons here

Dear Fellow Alumni,

I write to you to address the recent controversy over our college’s long-standing mascot, Sir Racist Von Genocide. Clad in his flowing white robes and hood, he has been a traditional fixture on our campus. To my utter astonishment, after this year’s homecoming, many current students have called him “culturally insensitive” and demanded we replace him.

Yes, during Homecoming, he did erect a Confederate statue on the field while shouting a full-throated defense of eugenics into the loudspeaker. But what are we supposed to do? Buy entirely new sweatshirts?

We cannot replace tradition. We cannot replace Sir Racist Von Genocide.

I implore you to remember the good times. Who can say Sir Racist Von Genocide hasn’t gotten them into the school spirit?

Remember how each year, Sir Racist Von Genocide would kick off the season by burning a cross on the field? Are we not allowed to storm the field when we win a game either?

Remember how Sir Racist Von Genocide would blame bad weather on the Irish? Just like he did when my father was in school and my father’s father!

Remember the away games? When Sir Racist Von Genocide would insist on measuring the skulls of the opposing team’s minority athletes and then tease them about their “inferior breeding”? Will that tradition just go away? How am I supposed to explain that to my son, who has a legacy spot saved?

If we replace Sir Racist Von Genocide, where do we draw the line? Will we raze our hallowed halls? Will we change our street names? Will we forbid the a cappella group from singing “Let’s All Point and Laugh at the Nearest Marginalized Ethnic Group”?

Will we have to ban every fraternity the next time a freshman dies? What about if they’re only seriously injured? This is a slippery slope, my friends.

This all brings me to the Homecoming incident. I understand that there is worry about how minority students are feeling, particularly those on sports teams. Well, I want to assure you and them that our traditional mascot does not mean their school is “racist” or “promotes genocide.” Having Sir Racist Von Genocide as our mascot honors the legacy of our school and community, which does contain some light genocide.

I also don’t see how some of you thought Sir Racist Von Genocide was giving the audience a “Nazi Salute.” It was clearly a motionless wave!

Further, I’ve heard some say that Sir Racist Von Genocide simply is not “modern” enough. They obviously didn’t see him shoot copies of the classic poem “White Man’s Burden” by Rudyard Kipling out of his new T-shirt cannon.

And, if Sir Racist Von Genocide goes away, we can forget about our older alumni funding for our new Olympic-sized swimming pool with the Confederate Flag on the bottom.

So, fellow alumni, I beseech you to, before you make a decision, look at the post-game pictures you’ve taken with Sir Racist Von Genocide and his corkboard connecting Jewish students to globalist conspiracies.

You must consider which you care more about: our sacred memories and traditions or, as the radical students say, “critical thinking and basic human decency.”

In closing, allow me to quote our fight song:

Old Sir Racist Von Genocide,
You fill our hearts with pride,
You’ll fight for who is right,
As long as they are white.

Old Sir Racist Von Genocide
We know you’re on our side,
Against the enemy, you’ll turn the tide,
Exactly which enemy is implied.

Oh Run, Run the Races,
Then Kill, Kill the Other Races.
Win, Win the Game
Then Win, Win the Race War!

Signed,
A Concerned Alumnus

Folks, I know I’m going to catch some flak for saying this. But, it’s time for me to bravely roll out the red carpet for our cast aside colleague, Steve. You all remember Steve, right? The one who stood up in the middle of our monthly staff meeting and masturbated in front of everyone? Then we found out he had been doing this sort of thing for years and intimidated people into keeping it quiet? And then he sent an apology email where he didn’t use the word “sorry” once? Remember all of this?

Well, I think it’s time we brought Steve back to the office. Now I know what you’re all thinking: Steve the masturbator hasn’t made amends. Steve, the guy who took out his penis and tugged on it in front of many non-consenting human beings for years, has learned nothing from the whole experience. Steve, the strange man who cornered his coworkers and slapped his penis around in front of them, does not deserve a redemption story a few months later.

I disagree with those assessments. Sure, it’s been a few months. That’s plenty of time for us all to move on from the fact that Steve climbed up on our office’s conference table, took out his dick, and played it like a banjo. It’s time to fully rehabilitate Steve because he is a supremely talented accountant and the world deserves to see his accounting. Just forget about all the horrible masturbating he forced many of our employees to witness over the years. This is a once-in-a-generation accountant we’re talking about. His spreadsheets deserve to be shared with the world.

I think Steve has learned plenty of things during his forced sabbatical. He has served his hard time while sitting around his fancy apartment and doing literally nothing to show that he’s grown from this ordeal. I can think of no punishment greater than quietly retreating to your penthouse for a bit and displaying zero remorse. Steve’s done that, inadequately written apology and all. Now, we must forget any of this has ever happened and let Steve the masturbator back into our lives. He deserves to move on with his life, even if that means disturbing your life.

We owe Steve the masturbator another chance. Who’s to say what the right length of time is for a leave of absence after you juggle your private parts in front of non-consenting people? The important part is that Steve feels ready to come back, so it’s on the rest of us to adjust our comfort levels to allow for it.